Ruining Big Brother 18 – September 19th

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul
Part Two Final HOH winner: Nicole

Part Three between Paul & Nicole: live on Wednesday night

Although slow, the September 19th feeds are still felt pretty satisfying. That’s mainly because James eavesdrops on Paul and Nicole while they discuss how lame he is in the backyard. Thus, his suspicions of yesterday fully distill down into his worst nightmare made real. The guy literally can’t win. James now knows Nicole and Paul don’t respect his game and won’t take him to final two… and they’re out of Budweiser.

Nicole and Paul practice their speeches a lot and both include the other’s name. That means they both expect to be sitting next to each other on finale night. Yay! Paul might actually win this thing. It’s funny when he also has this realization. Paul recounts how in his intro interview he said that if he won Big Brother, he’d get a BB tattoo on his butt. Oh my God, he exclaims, I might actually have to get that thing! Then James recommends a Power of Veto tattoo and we gotta give him props… good tattoo idea. We wanna see that to fruition.

Paul’s speech works and he has a pretty good chance of winning the whole shebang. Right from the start he gets hearts cranking when his speech starts out. We’ll paraphrase his intro for you a bit; When you guys all met me you probably saw a crazy, loud, obnoxious guy and immediately assumed I’d be the first one evicted out of this house. Hell, yeah they did! And we absolutely love that Paul IS that guy and still here he is with a chance to win the $500,000.

Nicole works on her speech but it’s much less convincing than Paul’s. She talks to Paul about it later in the hammock and says, “What if I pass out, have a heart attack and die?” which is funny but also understandable. As she points out, nine million or so people could be watching and Nicole can’t figure out what they’re going to ask her. She doesn’t know what she did to anyone that might upset them… just that they’re upset with her. So, Paul tells her to just talk to the camera like she’s talking to a TV because, hey, that’s basically what they’ve been doing all summer. It’s great advice and does seem to ease Nicole’s anxiety.

Then Big Brother tells them about OTT: Over the Top, their new show that starts right away on CBS: All Access online and the trio are a bit thrown by it. Another set of houseguests? Right away? Well, they can’t be nearly as cool… right? Luckily BB also gives them a call to action in form of a framed chalkboard and colorful pens with instruction to write tips for the next set of BB contestants. You can see the results in our Fetchland featured photo above. Paul writes, “Be yourself… unless you suck,” and similar gems. James writes less useful advice; like, “Throw 75% of competitions,” and other fartballs of mediocrity. Paul and Nicole laugh about his tips later but Nicole’s aren’t that much better. One of hers is to “Play,” meaning the game and we all see the irony since she didn’t do that much till toward the end.

We’re not going to be hard on Nicole for this, though because we’re guilty of it too. At the beginning of season 18 we planned to write only positive comments about the houseguests. Instead, we’ve been reaming James a new a-hole for at least half the summer. We get it, Nicole. You went into the house with high hopes, determined to play the game and avoid a showmance. Then summer hit, circumstances changed, and you did the best you could while drowning in your own hypocrisy. We relate.

– Katherine Recap