[For American Horror Story – Hotel “Room Service” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FX Summary:
Room Service Alex uses an unconventional treatment to save a dying patient; a Halloween-hating couple tests Iris.
The “Room Service” episode revolves around the theme of that special situation when something shows up at our threshold that ordinarily wouldn’t in everyday life. It works in a literal, symbolic, and horrific sense throughout. Because it’s American Horror Story this theme starts out with a bloody, messy, pock-marked miracle.
Alex’s measles patient, Max, lies close to death thanks to his mother refusal to vaccinate him. So, Alex does what any solid pediatrician would and sucks down numerous blood bags in the hospital supply fridge before injecting her blood into his IV. Who’s gonna make the next list of top Los Angeles docs? This miracle worker, baby! The next morning Measles Max awakens a new boy, healed and ready to leave the hospital. When he gets home a little later, though Max bites his mommy’s neck to death and leaves her on the kitchen floor to board the yellow school bus in a pirate costume. Max then turns his school into child vampire academy. It starts when he kisses a girl, Maddie. Then he bites her and when she’s cranky about it he bites his own lip then kisses her again. Maddie quickly becomes a vampire in the closet where they kissed and then Max starts a whirlwind of stabbing teachers and turning kids into vampires. Soon the child vampire-filled school is on lockdown. None of the adults become vampires because Max stabs them or slits their throats – it’s just undead kids and blood everywhere. Then cops surround the school and start herding blood-soaked kids out. The cops ask Maddie what happened and she makes up a story on the spot about a man dressed all in black. Max smiles when he hears her and repeats her story for the cops and news media.
Meanwhile at Ramona’s mansion Donovan serves up his own brand of room service when he delivers the answer to all Ramona’s vampire prayers – Iris. He tells Ramona how Iris can help her because she’s just the Hotel Cortez insider she needs. Ramona’s then intrigued by Donovan’s reckless sex appeal and the fact that he’s delivering her the solution to her troubles makes the hottest man on the planet all the more attractive.
Iris goes back to the Cortez where Elizabeth Taylor right away serves up the antidote for the wretchedness of being newly vampire – blood in a martini glass. Iris moans to Elizabeth Taylor about being damned to eternity in her crappy body and even worse life. Ms. Taylor suggests Iris try some violet eyeshadow as she heads back to work at the reception desk. While back at work Iris greets a pretentious and patronizing couple -potential guests who like totally deserve a discount for being cool. These douchebag hipster guests then call Iris for room service and demand a variety of unavailable fancypants items including paté. So, Elizabeth Taylor helps Iris put cat food on a silver platter for them.
Then they have a chat about Ms. Taylor’s backstory. He’s from Topeka. Back in the 80s he was a traveling pharma sales rep and married, with a kid. While on the road he dresses in women’s clothes and drinks champagne by himself… until one fateful night when he stays at the Cortez and meets the The Countess. She tells him his blood smells like a woman’s and he was born to be a goddess. Thus, the makeover begins and The Countess transforms him into Elizabeth Taylor. When he’s too nervous to go out and be seen but she convinces him to get ice down the hall. Ms taylor’s in bliss, gliding down the hall until two of his coworkers see him and accuse him of having AIDS. He screams that he’s not gay and then the Countess saves the day. She kills the bigots for Elizabeth and tells him we all have two selves and we’ve got to embrace the shadow self. Although The Countess didn’t infect him, he did start living that day, Ms. Taylor explains to Iris. He tells Iris she can’t let people treat her terribly and she should start with the wretched hipsters. Iris takes them the room service and they berate her to a horrifying degree until she stabs them repeatedly all the while screaming that she matters. Iris and Elizabeth Taylor dispose of the hipster bodies and then Iris is finally starting to feel better. “I never really knew how to live until I died,” she says.
Meanwhile John Lowe’s boss confronts him about what happened at Devil’s Night. He says it must be a copycat blood cult with people pretending to be serial killers. They’ve got to get cadaver dogs, a warrant and forensics team into the Hotel Cortez right away! But his boss doesn’t feel quite the same urgency and instead says he’s questioning John’s sanity. In fact, John’s fired. Next thing John knows he wakes up at the Cortez next to Hypodermic Sally who he was apparently screwing like a madman all night. Sally tells him it’s their destiny to do this together so they’ll do it again and again and again because you can’t fight destiny. So John experienced a different and more delightful brand of room service at the Hotel Cortez that night… and instead of being grateful he’s just plain old horrified.
In the final scene Alex finally gets to hang with Holden, who recognizes that she’s just like him now. The Countess explains that Alex will now play the role of governess to all the children of the Cortez. Alex expresses concern that John will see her at the Hotel and wonder what’s up. The Countess says Alex would be surprised by the wondrous possibilities that can arise with a simple, ‘Hello.” Kind of like how you never know what delight an order of room service might bring into your life, especially at the Hotel Cortez.
–Katherine Recap
