Hollywood

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul
Part Two Final HOH winner: Nicole

Part Three between Paul & Nicole: live on Wednesday night

Although slow, the September 19th feeds are still felt pretty satisfying. That’s mainly because James eavesdrops on Paul and Nicole while they discuss how lame he is in the backyard. Thus, his suspicions of yesterday fully distill down into his worst nightmare made real. The guy literally can’t win. James now knows Nicole and Paul don’t respect his game and won’t take him to final two… and they’re out of Budweiser.

Nicole and Paul practice their speeches a lot and both include the other’s name. That means they both expect to be sitting next to each other on finale night. Yay! Paul might actually win this thing. It’s funny when he also has this realization. Paul recounts how in his intro interview he said that if he won Big Brother, he’d get a BB tattoo on his butt. Oh my God, he exclaims, I might actually have to get that thing! Then James recommends a Power of Veto tattoo and we gotta give him props… good tattoo idea. We wanna see that to fruition.

Paul’s speech works and he has a pretty good chance of winning the whole shebang. Right from the start he gets hearts cranking when his speech starts out. We’ll paraphrase his intro for you a bit; When you guys all met me you probably saw a crazy, loud, obnoxious guy and immediately assumed I’d be the first one evicted out of this house. Hell, yeah they did! And we absolutely love that Paul IS that guy and still here he is with a chance to win the $500,000.

Nicole works on her speech but it’s much less convincing than Paul’s. She talks to Paul about it later in the hammock and says, “What if I pass out, have a heart attack and die?” which is funny but also understandable. As she points out, nine million or so people could be watching and Nicole can’t figure out what they’re going to ask her. She doesn’t know what she did to anyone that might upset them… just that they’re upset with her. So, Paul tells her to just talk to the camera like she’s talking to a TV because, hey, that’s basically what they’ve been doing all summer. It’s great advice and does seem to ease Nicole’s anxiety.

Then Big Brother tells them about OTT: Over the Top, their new show that starts right away on CBS: All Access online and the trio are a bit thrown by it. Another set of houseguests? Right away? Well, they can’t be nearly as cool… right? Luckily BB also gives them a call to action in form of a framed chalkboard and colorful pens with instruction to write tips for the next set of BB contestants. You can see the results in our Fetchland featured photo above. Paul writes, “Be yourself… unless you suck,” and similar gems. James writes less useful advice; like, “Throw 75% of competitions,” and other fartballs of mediocrity. Paul and Nicole laugh about his tips later but Nicole’s aren’t that much better. One of hers is to “Play,” meaning the game and we all see the irony since she didn’t do that much till toward the end.

We’re not going to be hard on Nicole for this, though because we’re guilty of it too. At the beginning of season 18 we planned to write only positive comments about the houseguests. Instead, we’ve been reaming James a new a-hole for at least half the summer. We get it, Nicole. You went into the house with high hopes, determined to play the game and avoid a showmance. Then summer hit, circumstances changed, and you did the best you could while drowning in your own hypocrisy. We relate.

– Katherine Recap

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul
Part Two Final HOH winner: Nicole

Part Three between Paul & Nicole: live on Wednesday night

September 18th feeds brought lots of interesting conversations. They do soliloquies in mirrors, talk to walls, and convince the stainless steel door of the fridge. We’re referring, of course, to Nicole and Paul as they prep their final two speeches. Paul’s seem more convincing but Nicole continues to work hard on her speech.

Then at around 8:20PM in the kitchen, James asks Nicole what she plans to do if she wins the third part of the HOH competition and chooses the final two. Of course, he gets seriously bummed by her reply. Nicole tells him he has the jury votes that she can’t possibly get next to him. Paul, on the other hand, pretty much alienated the same people she did. It’s a valid point, especially since Paul did call Michelle the C-word. Also we finally get complete clarity that Nicole and James never had a pre-season alliance. Nicole makes this evident when she tells him, “I don’t owe you anything,” and we’re happily surprised at her candor. This Nicole-without-Corey is pretty darn refreshing. We like her.

After they talk James hits rock bottom and tells the camera, “Shit. That’s not good,” to which all us live feeders respond, “You’re finally gettin’ it!” and it really seems like he does. James mopes around like a sad sack all day long. Only after drinking a few Budweisers in the backyard does he lighten up a bit. But then, of course, he slips into morose drunky poo when the beers are gone, like ya do.

Meanwhile Nicole and Paul drink too, beers first and then red wine that gives Nicole a purplish mouth. The booze also opens her up and Nicole’s more fun tonight than she’s been all summer. She and Paul have a friendly convo in the hammock after James goes inside. Paul tells her how James came to him and said his fate lies in Paul’s hands. That he could just say “screw James” and not take him. Instead of comforting him, Paul just basically said, Yeah I guess I could. Which is funny because Nicole didn’t really console him either. So, James has officially entered spiral-mode. He’s headed face first down the drain. James pours them giant glasses of wine and doesn’t drink it himself. Paul and Nicole make a joke about how he’s trying to get them drunk so he can pull out a contract for them to sign saying they’ll bring him to final two. Haha.

Truth is that it’s about damn time James faced the truth about his game. He didn’t do crap all summer. It took this long for him to realize he hasn’t been playing Derrick’s game. Funny thing is, James also probably thought he had a chance at America’s Favorite Player – thus, the infinite shoutouts.  Now it doesn’t look like that’s going to pan out either. But we’re not Nostradamus, so we don’t know fo sho. All we know is that this September 18th night it feels like karma came around for James and he’s not liking this delivery.

When Nicole and Paul talk on the hammock they further discuss James and how neither of them respects his game or wants to take him. Nicole also talks about how she wants to get a matching tattoo like Paul’s that says “Love sucks” with a heart and arrow through it. But hers will say, “Love stinks,” instead. Both of them are funny and silly because they’re no-holds-barred full of booze and at the end of the game together. It’s good times and we’re happy for them that they’ll sleep like babies for once this summer.

Only two more days, guys! It’s finale time, finally.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie #13 Victor #14 Corey

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul
Part Two Final HOH winner: Nicole

Part Three between Paul & Nicole: live on Wednesday night

On the September 17th feeds snore season officially starts. The second part of the final HOH (our one chance at true excitement) occurs off-feeds. So we can merely report results. It’s late but you;d never know from the hyper houseguests. The trio wear cute, colorful competition-themed tees and our personal favorite to win, Paul has a big smile. Thus, we know right away James once again achieved EPIC FAIL status in a crucial competition. In fact, as soon as James leaves the kitchen Nicole and Paul run to each other for celebratory hugging and mugging for the camera. We’re cheering too because this is who we’d love to see in those final duo seats Wednesday night. James just makes Big Brother 18 feel so shameful and disappointing – the ultimate anti-climax.

The challenge ends after midnight. So, Nicole and Paul, pumped with adrenaline and joy, talk late into the morning after the challenge. Nicole says she can’t take James with her to final two, if it’s up to her. Her reasoning: because he doesn’t even deserve the $50K – second place prize. We couldn’t agree more with your lies to please Paul, Nicole! Also, she’ll die if James ends up beating her with his non-game, no strategy. Hopefully Nic’s claims penetrate her brain enough so that even if she’s just lying to Paul eventually she may just convince herself of their veracity. Funny thing about brains… often our neural cells believe what they hear even while allegedly “knowing” the words are lies. Sounds crazy but it’s true. That’s why people still do things they “know” are bad for them – like eating junk, drinking, and fun stuff like that.

Finally the backyard opens for them and the trio gleeffully go outside to play the card game BS. Of course, Paul wins – like shooting fish in a barrel. Then they clean the house, each in their own way. These three are not big-time cleaners. So, it’s funny to hear Nicole muttering under her breath how she wishes Victor was there because he always cleanes. As an afterthought she says Corey was pretty good about cleaning too… but we all know who the master cleaner of #BB18 really was. No matter what CBS tries to convey on the TV show, Vic was truly the Puerto Rican CLEANING Sensation.

Then another game arrives in the form of what appears to be Jenga but the threesome can only say “BB Benga” – likely due to licensing issues. It’s funny when James and Paul talk about eating the pieces because they look like Kit Kats and, OMG, they really do! Yeah, the laughs are gettin’ pretty thin these days, folks. The three of them debate the rules a bit. No, you CAN’T use your other hand to secure the tower, dumbass. Have you ever actually played? But it’s a fun way to pass the time for a bit and we’re grateful to Big Brother for trying when Nicole let’s it slip that. “I think they want us to talk game,” even if the feeds do go out because she’s “talking about production”.

After Nicole and James go to bed, Big Brother awakens them with a gift. Paul finds cookie dough, frosting, and owl-shape cutters in the storage room. The cookie-making process mystifies the sleepy trio; largely because the dough doesn’t seem to be the cookie cutter kind. It’s too thin and floppy. They keep at it anyway and end up with formless masses of “too sweet” brightly colored frosty confection but eat them anyway, like ya do.

– Katherine Flores

Daily BB House Stats:
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie #13 Victor #14 Corey

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul

The September 16th special Big Brother episode begins with Paul saying he managed to make himself a “clear path to the end,” while Nicole’s, “here to win,” but also crying and scared and missing Corey. Surprise shocker, boo boo bear. Meanwhile James and Paul connive to seal their final two deal. Of course, Paul also has a final two deal with Nicole. He’s just telling them what they want to hear, though. James will stay loyal to Paul, he says in Diary Room. But Nicole is less certain. In her DR session, Nicole thinks she’ll more likely beat James. Although she’s completely right about that, we don’t like it one bit. Paul and Nicole would make a mighty fine and satisfying final two. But if James has to be in there, please let it be next to Paul.

Next we get a series of weeping flashbacks from the season, Meech, Tiffany, Paulie’s butterfly, Nicole, Meech again, Natalie, Tiffany, Paulie again, Meech again, Paulie again, and Meech yet again. The final trio then discuss emotional breakdowns and ultimately agree that Paulie became the biggest wreck of everyone in season 18. CBS also gives us a rundown of the many pranks houseguests played on each other. It’s silly fun and pretty much every one of them participates at some point. Our favorite part, though, is when Paul busts on James for wearing crocs. They are an abomination, in fact. Too bad James found where Natalie froze them in a ziploc bag buried in the back freezer. Flames to the sky work better than freezing when it comes to crocs.

Then we have some crazy Diary Room sessions, including a lot of tears. So many tears, in fact, that it ends up funny. This leads into a segment on showmances and we love that it focuses almost entirely on the Vaul bromance because that was the most entertaining and fun relationship in the house. For some reason they also narrow in on a fight between Nicorey even though most of their summer was spent canoodling. There’s also an amusing section about Michelle as a kitty cat and somehow it totally makes sense. That’s a perfect example of how Big Brother houseguests get creative in ways “real world” peeps rarely do these days… we’re too busy looking at our screens, after all.

Next we see the beginning of the final HOH competition where the houseguest trio are kitties. They show how the challenge works, it’s an endurance comp where they follow the laser from one aspect of the challenge to another: a milk dish, a scratching post, or a litter box. We know Paul wins this competition but the show ends before it’s revealed. Cutest cat award definitely goes to Nicole – who’s an ultra glam, pretty kitty. We love that costume for Halloween because it’s not overly sexual like most are these days and yet, it’s 100% pusstacular.

Tune in tomorrow to Fetchland.com to find out who won the second round of the final HOH competition. Then we’re in the final stretch until finale night for season 18 of Big Brother. We can’t wait to see who finally wins it all!

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie #13 Victor #14 Corey

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul

September 15th is naptastic in the Big Brother house. Nicole and Paul have sore muscles from the endurance portion of the final HOH competition. Of course, James feels nothing because he made no effort in the challenge. Shocker. He talks to the cameras (us) to say he feels like he’s in a good place. Well, we have some news for James: Feelings aren’t facts, bro. It’s just as likely a possibility that neither Nicole nor Paul will take him to the final two with them. Though he’s utterly convinced they will both do exactly that.

As usually happens in the final three BB house, the trio all tell each other what they want to hear and slam whichever houseguest happens to be out of the room at the moment. Still, Paul and Nicole seem a tighter and more genuine twosome. It makes sense because both of them have watched James lose challenge after challenge and listened to him make idiotic comments all summer. Who wants to take the dumb dead horse with them to the final two? A real competitor wants to win an actual competition, not beat a wet mop. But it’s early still, so we’ll see how it all actually shakes out next week.

Luckily there are more shows to help ease us through this last Big Brother week starting with a Friday night “special edition” with season highlights (yawn). The first part of the Final HOH competition, blocked from live feeds, will be fun to watch, though. In the meantime, the feeds remain nappy and schemetacular. Nicole and Paul are plotting up a storm,  Meanwhile James makes brilliant comments like, “We should stay up all night so we can sleep all day because there’ll be nothing to do anyway”. Paul almost starts to say, “But if there’s nothing to do anyway…” what difference does it make if it’s night or day? But Paul restrains himself and we understand why. The “logic” in the answer James has would likely make all of our heads collectively explode.

Interior design and prop news always excites in the final week of Big Brother and this season is no exception. A tiny table now holds the place of honor in the dining area. So, the threesome play cards and eat when they aren’t scheming twosomes. Orwell the late night BB owl from Pop TV joins them for dinner though the trio don’t seem to understand his significance of what “Pop After Dark” means. James gives it a shoutout anyway… like he does. The guys gives ham sandwiches a shoutout, so this one’s no surprise. After that Paul poured Snapple in his champagne… but we forgive because he’s fun tipsy..

Paul spends a nice long time staring at the houseguest wall, “lookin’ back at all these shitheads,” and boozin it up by himself while he talks to us feedsters. It’s why we feel so close to Paul. He’s more like a real person, less a BB character and, more importantly, Paul learned how to play Big Brother hardcore this summer. More than any other houseguest Paul flew by the seat of his pants and soared into the clouds when it came to gameplay. Look at him! He’s touching the stars now and may even become one himself soon, if we get our wish.

Stay tuned to Fetchland.com for a daily recap of the latest BB activity. It’s all over next Wednesday, September 21st. So, there’s less than a week to go!

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paul
HOH Nominated – Nicole and Corey
Veto Winner – Paul
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie #13 Victor #14 Corey

Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

The September 14th Big Brother TV show is a mad extravaganza of drama and delight. It starts out with Paul’s tears when he wins the HOH. “I’ve had it tough since day one… talking my way through things…” Yes, it has been a long road and when he says, “That one’s for you, Victor!” our spidey sense tells us we might actually have emotions too… for a millisecond anyway. Yes, we shed a tiny tear.

Then we see a convo between James and Paul from the night before Victor was evicted. The two of them decide to fight together because strategically they really don’t have any other choice against glued-together Corey and Nicole. Simply for the sake of numbers Paul and James need each other. Right after this Paul puts Corey and Nicole on the block, she for the very first time. James points out that it’s really as if they’re all on the block (other than Paul as HOH) because the Veto means everything this week. It’s the final Veto and the sole houseguest off the block after the Veto concludes is also the only vote.

Big Brother visits the jury house next. Michelle paints portraits of Nicole with a snake body while Bridgette and Day seem aligned against Zakiyah and Paulie. So, it’s a jury house divided when Natalie enters. Then as Nat Nat shows the jurors her video of events from the BB house, Da’Vonne and Paulie go head to head in a nasty shouting match. It’s rather grotesque… and not just because of Paulie’s hair. He decided to go back to his Pee Pee look and thus endanger any possibility of a handsomeness revival. He does, however revive that sarcastic clap when things finally cooled a bit and he was completely douched out. News alert, Paulie, you’re the only one clapping.

Victor then joins them in the jury where it appears the jurors are making lots of arts and crafts, including word necklaces like “powerful” and “courage” which the ladies wear. He shows them the video of Corey winning HOH and explains the Final Four alliance situation and then the jurors watch the BB comics competition. Michelle is a real trooper about her comic and then Da’Vonne gives Nicole props for all her competition wins. Looks like those necklaces are doing the trick! See kids, words can change the world.

The Veto competition worries us at first glance. It’s BB baseball! Oh dear. Right on cue, Corey says, “This could be my field of dreams,” and we groan inwardly. But all isn’t lost! Turns out it’s the days-in-the-house challenge. That means if a houseguest has been paying close attention to what happened on what day in the Big Brother house this summer, they’ll likely do well. Paul pays attention – yay! It’s no surprise that James has no strategy and doesn’t know the days. He’s out in no time. Nicole’s out next. Then it’s a tight race between Corey and Paul until the best surprise win of the summer – Baseball Veto Winner = Paul! We’re so happy for Paul, just Paul and only Paul. He dedicates this win to Pablo, his floaty pelican. No surprise because Pablo served as Paul’s favorite belt much like Victor’s battle back belt. They’re the well-belted bros, after all.

Next live on the September 14th TV show, Paul chooses not to use Veto. James makes his vote after Nicorey’s predictable farewell speeches and Corey goes to jury. He seems surprised James evicted him when he talks to Julie. Also Corey says he and Nicole will be “best friends for a long time” and possibly they may continue the romance, “We’ll see how it goes,” which is a lot more positive than he ever got in the house discussing the prospect with his bros.

This Friday there’s another special episode at 8pm EST with the final HOH competition. Then Wednesday September 21st brings the live finale of Big Brother at 9:30EST. Congratulations to the final three! We’re happy that there’s not a showmance among them and look forward to these three maybe actually getting to know each other a bit. Although, Paul DID get pretty tight with almost all the houseguests this summer. He was playing Big Brother the entire time. That’s why.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paul
HOH Nominated – Nicole and Corey
Veto Winner – TBD
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie #13 Victor

At the onset of the September 13th TV show Paul tries to salvage his situation with Nicorey. He asks them if Victor or he can win the Veto could they continue to work together and try to get James out? …but it’s not gonna fly. The Final Four is finished. All for the better, Paul. You can do this without them. We believe in you.

Next we see the BB Comics Veto competition. Each houseguest gets a comic book cover with their superpower matching their character. It’s a matching game where details are incorrect in some of the comic book covers and correct in only one of them. The more detail-oriented they are the better they’ll do. Paul narrates this one for us and takes us through the competition as attempts the challenge. The comics look amazing and are funny too. The art looks so professional because Big Brother has actual comic book artists design and draw them. As we already knew, Nicole wins Veto and by quite a bit too – five whole minutes. She then chooses not to use it, (no surprise) and thus seals the fate of her former alliance members – Vaul.

In their goodbye speeches Paul makes everybody laugh with appropriate mockery. Victor also jokes with each of them about their backstabbing ways but it’s all in love and jest. Then Nicole and James vote to evict Victor again. Goodbye to our beloved Puerto Rican Sensation. We will miss you SO! Julie says, “We have to stop meeting like this, Victor,” while he’s amused and surprisingly good-natured. Victor admits it was smart for Nicorey’s game to evict him. He realizes his biggest mistake throughout the game is that he tends to trust other players too much. We hope Victor gets a chance to use this lesson learned and play the game again. he’s perfect for an All Star season.

Next we see the HOH competition “What the Bleep,” in which the houseguests watch video of their fellow houseguests as they face eviction night. Their farewell speeches in the video clips each contain a bleeped word and the competitors guess what it was. Nicole takes the lead for awhile with great guesses until Paul catches up right at the end and then it’s tied between them. In the end of the competition Paul guesses the number about an event in the house most correctly and wins the HOH! We’re extremely happy and even more so that Paul heard the studio audience going crazy happy cheering for him that he made the final three!

We know from a tiny bit of feeds on the evening of September 13th that Paul put Corey and Nicole up on the block for eviction. Stay tuned to Fetchland.com for a recap of the Wednesday night episode of Big Brother. It’s down to the wire now, bros; only a few episodes and houseguests left!.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Corey
HOH Nominated – Victor and Paul
Veto Winner – Nicole
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie

Our Special Character/App Edition on Big Brother 18 for September 18th

The feeds are down until after we (likely) find out that our beloved Puerto Rican Sensation permanently left the building on the Tuesday night special show. So, there’s not much to say about the Big Brother house feeds for September 12th. Instead we’ll play a matching game – current BB18 houseguests to phone apps. Who matches what?… and why? Well, lucky you, we’ve got answers to these crucial and life-changing questions.

Victor – Music

Music. You need it. You want it. It’s a welcome part of your everyday experience. Music’s likely one of the first apps you click on your phone to escape the daily doldrums out there in the world and drift into that favorite song or playlist. It takes you to a better place. Victor brings this same feeling to the Big Brother 18 house. Maybe it’s because he left and came back, so we missed him… twice. One of those you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone type-things. Imagine if you woke up one morning and your music app was gone. You’d sure as heck miss it. That’s how we feel thinking that Victor’s gone and most likely how Paul feels too. In fact, Paul probably feels it double duty because he’s a guitarist stuck in the house without his guitar. Music left Paul on every level.

Paul – Words With Friends

Paul’s really into friendship. We know that for certain. But there’s so much more to Paul than that. Up till Zingbot shamed him out of his sayings, Paul’s all about blazing words like a firestorm in the BB house. He coins catchphrases and shouts them, to the roof with joy. Also, Paul loves to get into debates with people – likely because he usually wins. The guy won’t back down when it comes to words and we love that about him. He keeps the BB18 house cookin’ and it’s not just about makin’ muffins anymore, folks! Paul’s great with words and a terrific friend. He’s that friend who tells you the harshest truth in a way you can really hear it and even make you laugh at your own faults. Paul connects with people because he sees the flaws in himself and laughs then too. That’s true friendship.

James – Apple Watch

Remember when the Apple Watch first came out? We never got an Apple Watch either… yet we still have that damn Apple Watch app on our phone. In fact, we’ve long suspected that app may be the reason our phone drains so much faster now. Started happening right after it showed up in our apps – coincidence? It’s a leech app – contributes nothing and drains drains drains all our battery’s energy. Worst of all, it won’t delete. We can’t get it off our phone. It refuses to budge no matter what we do. Meanwhile it does NOTHING. Sound familiar? Yes, that’s right. We just described James. The nice thing about the Apple Watch app, though, is that at least we can hide it way in the back of the third page in our “infrequent use” file where the tumbleweeds blow. If only we could do that with James! He just stays in there eviction after eviction. We can’t even keep hope alive for his exit because Lame James never even goes on the block.

Nicole – Tic Tac Toe

Ever played Tic Tac Toe? Sure you did. We all remember it. But funny how it’s a distant memory for us all, isn’t it? Nobody plays after awhile because it’s the same darn thing, a one trick pony of a game. A chicken can play and even win consistently. Sound familiar? Yeah, that’s Nicole and her game strategy. The days of yore, when Tic Tac Toe challenges you and Nicole’s merely cute and quirky are long gone. It looks like she might even make final three this season. Some feedsters suspect production cajoled Nicole in certain directions and perhaps even assisted her gameplay. That could be true, we don’t know. We actually don’t really care because either way, she’s lost her midwestern luster in our eyes. We still think she’s cute, of course, but in the same way a chicken winning Tic Tac Toe is. Sure, adorable.. but it also reminds us how downright simple humans can be.

Corey – Drink Water Daily

Corey never fails to bore us to death. We actually die most days when we see him and stay that way while he’s onscreen. It’s like a whole Flatliners scenario every time. Usually Paul serves as an adrenaline shot to bring us back to life after we flatline out of Borey Corey Boredom. So, the app that reminds people to drink water every day is a perfect icon for Corey. Is it really that hard to remember to drink water? No. You can’t possibly need this. You will DIE without water. Survival instinct will kick in at some point and you’ll drink it. Period. Corey reminds us of a stereotype, not a real person. He’s sporty and attractive. He loves Christmas and dogs. What else do we know about Corey? He’s a frat boy. It’s all SO enthralling. Look, we know there’s probably more to Corey. Of course there is. He has to be more interesting than this! That bottle of water has a meaningful check mark on it granting it a tiny sense of mystery… and Corey has a sense of mystery too. That’s why Nicole keeps asking him about his secret. Even in her puppy love state of adoration about Corey, she assumes there must be more to him.

Tuesday the Big Brother TV show airs, so we’ll be back to our regular brand of posts here at Ruining Big Brother on Fetchland.com but we hope you enjoyed this special edition as well.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Corey
HOH Nominated – Victor and Paul
Veto Winner – Nicole
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie

The September 11th TV show begins with the HOH Butter competition. But Corey and Nicole scheme even before the challenge. They gotta put Paul and Victor up to “make a big move” and be strategic because, “they would do the same thing to us,” …only Paul and Victor wouldn’t. It’s pretty heartbreaking, then, when Victor says he’s “Pretty stoked Corey won this HOH,” because we know what happens next. Sigh. CBS gives Paul and Victor a “clueless and naive” edit here. The also imply that Nicorey are some sort of brainiac masterminds and we no likey. It would be easier to take if their move didn’t ALSO save James. Yes, it’s a smart move and even makes sense. We just can’t stand to see James make it through another damn week sitting back and watching while everyone else busts their ass. On the September 11th feeds Paul at one point says, “Even James doesn’t know why he’s still in this house!” kudos to Paul, already able to laugh about it.

The TV show skips over alterna-topics in the episode middle; including Natalie and James as they patch things up before the live show. Then we see the funny time when Corey put salt in Nicole’s water and got wet as a result. Corey’s segment seems a tad unjust given that every other houseguest pulled this prank ages ago. But it’s not really a bit about originality anyway. It’s only funny because it backfires on Corey. Then CBS does a segment on how Victor has a thing for Nicole. Yeah, anyone who watches feeds saw his obvious attraction to her. It’s interesting, though, how Nicole never notices that Corey doesn’t mind all of Victor’s blatant flirtation right in front of him. Here’s a tip, Nicole, when a guy really likes you, he HATES that.

Right after that on the TV show Paul suggests to Victor that maybe Nicole and Corey will come after them now and Victor assures him they won’t. But Paul’s not so sure… So, he enters HOH to discuss Nicorey’s plans. After Nicole and Corey lie to him, Paul declares the Final Four the “Final Friendship,” and a collective groan sweeps the nation. Then it’s time for the big betrayal when Corey nominates Victor and Paul. He says something about how he wasn’t raised to be a bitch and this is Big Brother not Big Baby. We’re 100% certain that every non-feeds TV viewer thought Corey was mad cool to say all this but we’re less impressed. The guy can barely form a sentence. Corey got help with those lines, guys! Meanwhile after nominations Victor’s visibly angry and Paul’s PISSED. Corey’s says “Third time’s a charm,” in the Diary Room. Nicole’s like, ‘Holy crap, is this real life?” and we’re like, No – it’s a TV show.

On the September 11th feeds Nicole doesn’t use the Veto and thus we get our last few glimpses of Victor and Paul in the house together. They play poker at midnight and tell a slew of BB house jack-off jokes. Can you get a pair of shower flip flops pregnant? Only in the BB house. We won’t get to hear this stuff anymore once Victor’s gone (quiet sobbing in the corner). But OK OK, all isn’t lost. We never get what we want when it comes to Big Brother anyway. Comp beast, Janelle (seasons 6, 7 & 14) has never won a single season. Danielle got shafted because the jury saw her Diary Room sessions in season 3. What can you do? There’s only one solution and that’s watch the next season and hope for the next Dan Gheesling (winner season 10) or Rachel Reilly (winner season 13). Luckily for us, CBS All Access, current live feeds source, soon launches a new version of Big Brother to immediately follow season 18. It streams online 24/7 without any TV presence. So, you need to get CBS All Access to watch but the good news is viewers can see all the ceremonies and competitions as they happen. So, it turns out BB18 was merely an amuse bouche for the real meal to come. It premieres September 28th and they’re calling it Big Brother: Over the Top. We’ll be tweeting about it daily from @RuiningBigBro. Thus you can hear all about it there even if you don’t subscribe to CBS All Access.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Corey
HOH Nominated – Victor and Paul
Veto Winner – Nicole
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle #12 Natalie

September 10th’s Veto competition made the feeds an all day nail-biter. Victor and Paul sleep right up until we lose feeds to the five hour Veto challenge, so we’re stuck watching Corey and Nicole make breakfast all morning. Nicole whines that she’s the only girl left, though it’s reality due to her own machinations in many cases. She’s playing a powerful role at times, even if it’s often from under a blanket. In fact, today Nicole put on a sassy hot pink cape and won the Veto. The way things are headed, she could win the whole shebang. Fact is, the last five Big Brother winners were all male and there’s never been a female winner who won in a final two against a male. So, there’s a silver lining to a Nicole win. She’ll make history. We’ll cheer for that.

Now on to the sad part of September 10th. It’s time to say goodbye to the most fulfilling, fun FRIENDSHIP in the house for season 18 and possibly ever in BB history. Truth is, we never really appreciated the whole “bromance” concept. Maybe it’s because of the snarky saying, “bros before hos,” or perhaps bro teams never seemed particularly genuine onscreen before. But Paul and Victor change all that for us. We’re pro bros and proud now! These guys are the real deal. They sincerely care, stay loyal, and fight for each other.

Also, they’re just cool guys. One morning they chat over coffee and share a parallel revelation that they never really appreciated their parents. The two of them list amazing things their parents did for them and how lucky they are. We’re riveted that these two guys in their early twenties have this realization. Every parent watching hopes their own kid will one day be this awesome and grateful.

Paul’s directness and articulate personality complement Victor’s powerful physicality and emotional expressiveness. They’re a perfect bro team. To say the feedsters will miss them is a serious understatement. Memes of sadness rule the #BB18 Twitter night September 10th. At least at one point Victor takes off his shirt and we’re all grateful for the sight and use his tee to mop up our tears.

Victor’s eviction seems the most likely next scenario, although James, Corey, and Nicole did discuss the possibility of booting Paul. They think much of the future competitions are likely mental and Paul will rock those. It’s true… but Victor’s a brainiac too and they know that. Thus, saying goodbye to FitVic a third time definitely hurts the most. We’re keeping hope alive for Paul to win the next HOH and possibly a Victor return in a future Big Brother season. In the meantime, you can check back here at Fetchland.com for all the latest news in the BB House.

Funny quote of the day:

Paul: Oh my God are you still talking about that? That’s SO day 23, bro!

– Katherine Recap