TV

[For Mozart in the Jungle “Can You Marry a Moon?” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Can You Marry a Moon?. Rodrigo develops a mysterious ailment and must adjust his sense while filming a virtual reality video game.

Someone not schooled in the fabled tales of America’s Indigenous People may not recognize the phrase, “Can You Marry a Moon?” but if you’d like to take a look here’s a succinct version The Girl who Married the Moon.The overarching message reflects the importance of patience and negotiating with care for the best end result in a dispute. This episode is filled with just these sorts arbitrations. Some are obvious; the symphony negotiating their contract with the orchestral board, and others less so, like Rodrigo with his mysterious new symptoms and Hailey negotiating her living situation. While watching the episode it would be easy to miss the reference to the title because Rodrigo throws the line away while ranting about his divorce papers, in fact tearing them up with frustration that he can’t have a marriage like the man and woman of the moon from the story. But even if Rodrigo speaks the line in an offhanded way, it’s crucial and not just because it’s the episode title. It speaks volumes for this particular piece of Mozart in the Jungle, an episode of unending disputes and negotiations under and above the surface of the story.

The first scene reveals Rodrigo’s newfound struggle with tinnitus and subsequent crankiness. Then Mike finally gets him to sign the divorce papers and he sort of semi signs them and rips them into pieces before saying they are both signed and not signed and that it all means nothing. He walks away pish poshing Mike’s suggestion that perhaps his wife met someone new and perhaps that’s why she seeks the divorce.

Next we see the symphony players celebrate Betty’s thirty five year anniversary with the orchestra. There’s a telling moment when Cynthia (who knows Betty well) says she “fittingly” gets the scorpion drink and Betty agrees that it fits, calling herself an “insect of death,” but everyone’s having too much fun at the party to sense the foreboding this statement entails. The stripper brought in for Betty plays the part of Johann Sebastian Cock with a titillating bravado that keeps their spirits high. Hailey keeps drinking until after the party, drunkenly lounging with Betty and Cynthia, she confides about the romantic moment with Rodrigo in Mexico. Then before taking Hailey home, Cynthia tries to arouse compassion in Betty saying, “We were all young once and falling in love with teacher,” but Betty clearly has no empathy for her fellow oboist and thus we see the first snap of her scorpion claw.

The orchestral players sit with management with Nina at their helm around a long mahogany table and surrounded by floor-to ceiling-legal book emblazened walls. Turns out the offer from management isn’t good enough and, adding insult to injury, villainous board member, Biben snarks at them. The musicians respond with percussion: taps on glasses, fingers drumming the table, and tic tac maracas. Then Nina tells the board they’re not in a position to tell musicians when they can and can’t play if they have no signed contract. She’s satisfied with how the meeting went, though nothing was accomplished. Meanwhile the orchestra and Gloria are peeved. They know the music and their careers are at stake here and Nina gets paid no matter if they win or lose. It’s back to the drawing board and their trust in Nina stays shaky from here forward.

Back at Hailey and Lizzie’s apartment Hailey continues to look for her own place with little luck and Bradford moves in with boxes up the wazoo. He and Lizzie have their first fight as box after box fills their already cozy place. There’s hardly anywhere to walk and the stacks are getting higher. Lizzie confronts Bradford on what appears to be hoarding and he says he told her about his baggage… but she thought he just meant emotionally. But Lizzie and Bradford are a cool couple because they’re direct and clear with each other, so during this fight they get right to root of the problem. It turns out Bradford doesn’t even know what half this stuff is but he does know he can’t let it go because it’s all recordings of his work that he may need someday. They’re on the road to negotiation now that they know the true stakes.

Next we see Rodrigo in a green screen studio making a virtual reality video game so that kids can play at being little maestros. So, he’s all dressed up in the suit with the balls attached for computer assignation of his body parts in motion. Rodrigo’s having trouble pretend-conducting with the newfound tinnitus and believes it’s due to the curse from Maestro Rivera. Meanwhile he’s unaware that there actually IS a threat to his well being. Behind the scenes Biben conspires to make Rodrigo seem like a rich spoiled artist. This is so management can raise the public ire against the musicians’ side of the contract negotiations. If Biben’s plan goes through they’ll send a picture of the symphony’s Kristoff standing in front of a fancy car to the papers – which is mad ironic because he, like most orchestra members, is actually pretty broke and was just standing in front of a Porsche aspirationally.

There are other conductors also filming at the virtual reality studio and wearing the bodysuits covered in balls, Pembridge included. Then the cellist Andrew Walsh shows up in his very own bodysuit with balls, late to the party because of an “early tee time and late flight”. He ingratiates himself with all the maestros but Rodrigo then by sharing photos of his latest art project, the nude women with cello marks he painted on their backs. Rodrigo joins the group looking at Walsh’s phone as the other maestros ooh and ahh. But all he says is, “cliché,” until he asks how Walsh gets them to pose so vulnerably. Walsh says he asks them to do it after they’ve just had sex with him. Again Rodrigo says, “cliché,” but then Walsh shows Rodrigo the picture of Hailey with the cello marks. So, stunned Rodrigo grabs the phone and hurls it across the room to smash against the wall. He says, “Keep you hands out of my orchestra!” and a fight breaks out with all the maestros in their balled bodysuits waging war against each other. In the final shot the camera pans over to the computer simulations of their tired old maestro stick figures fighting via green screen. Once again, there are no negotiations here.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “How to Make God Laugh” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
How to Make God Laugh. Rodrigo shows Hailey HIS Mexico then his mentor asks him to fulfill a promise, Cynthia gets a surprise visitor.

The theme of “How to Make God Laugh” is destiny and that’s clear from the title, which implies that there’s a higher power plan out there for us, regardless of any personally prescribed plans we may have made for ourselves. Many elements of the episode point to this idea but it’s most poignant in the dynamic between Rodrigo and Hailey, coloring their every glorious moment together. We already knew they were good together, inspiring, learning, and creating all the time together and now we start seeing that maybe they’re also on some level “meant to be”.

If you’ve ever heard the question, “Do you know how to make God laugh?” you’ve probably also heard the answer, “Tell them your plans,” which is a funny and rather well-known saying. But Hailey’s never heard it. Rodrigo asks her the question in the first part of the episode and she suggests tickling might make God laugh to which Rodrigo replies, of course not, everybody knows God’s not ticklish. Then he grabs her hand and runs out with her to escape far far away from all the plans listed on his itinerary for the day. Instead they spend it seeing HIS Mexico and bonding. It’s perfectly lovely.

Meanwhile, Pembridge finally arrives in Mexico after his flight was delayed forcing him to semi-sleep on a marble floor in the Houston airport the night before. He’s cranky, exhausted, and – as usual – completely self-interested. Thus Pembridge doesn’t notice that Gloria hides Pavel in her hotel room when the ex maestro crashes there until their imminent meeting with the richest man in Mexico, Juan Delgado. Pavel gets irritated that Gloria keeps hiding him and tells her that back in his country he was a bio engineer. It’s unclear if it’s really a class issue for Gloria (as Pavel implies) and seems more likely she may be hiding him simply because they work together and it would be deemed untoward by the rest of the board. She’s preoccupied with Pavel and thus, though stunning in a red polka dot dress, Gloria’s pitch to Juan Delgado falls flat. Luckily she’s got Pembridge on hand and he’s a thrill in comparison. He truly inspires Delgado with his “wild horses” artistic style and thus all will be well for the New York Symphony for they will have all the funding they need. Turns out back at the hotel that Gloria’s not the only one getting unexpectedly laid in Mexico because Nina surprises Cynthia by showing up there too and the two gorgeous women finally consummate their lust.

In the middle of the episode Rodrigo takes Hailey home to his sweet Grandma. She adores Hailey, sends them shopping for ingredients and then cooks them a delicioso dinner. Afterward she reads the coffee grinds left in Hailey’s cup to tell Rodrigo his destiny with Hailey. She sees a connection between them; passion and love but not right away – years from now… and she even sees kids for them too. But when Rodrigo translates what his Grandma said for Hailey he lies, saying that she just talked about their love of music and that Hailey will have a great career someday. Then Grandma gives Hailey some family heirloom earrings. After dinner Rodrigo shows Hailey his childhood bedroom, perfectly preserved like a time capsule, and she’s surprised to find out he was much the same nerd she was as a kid. They kiss but then it’s interrupted by Grandma sporting an angry and vigilant broom. The furious mamacita shouts that the kiddos aren’t supposed to come “for many years” and not in her house! and not in front of the Jesus statue! Hailey laughs as Granny forces Rodrigo out of the room for the night, poking him over and over with her red broom handle.

The next day Rodrigo visits his mentor, Maestro Rivera at the school where he was taught as a child. Hailey hangs back but is listening as Maestro insists that Rodrigo continue his legacy and lead the school now that he’s ready to retire. He insists that this is Rodrigo’s duty, a sacrament that he must fulfill. When Rodrigo says he can’t and that he has to serve the symphony in New York Maestro Rivera says he’s broken his heart. He says Rodrigo killed him then and curses him, touching Rodrigo’s chest right where his heart lies. This is a case where Rodrigo rejects the destiny another parent figure has determined for him. That’s the funny thing about destiny, there’s always a choice to follow or not and we have to make that choice even if ours ends up being that we choose not to believe in such things. Or if we deny that it’s even about us, as Rodrigo seems to be doing here. It’s still a choice he’s making, a painful one.

On the flight back to New York Rodrigo and Hailey agree that this was a terrible occurrence between him and his mentor. He feels sick from it, he says. Then Hailey tells him she knows he lied when he translated what his Granny said and jokes about how he’s the father of her children. Rodrigo gets called back to first class by Gloria and Pembridge and the episode ends as the curtain between first and second class closes off their connection – perhaps a symbol of what keeps them apart for the next few years. He’s the leader of the orchestra and she’s the rookie. But eventually they may be at the same place… and knowing that makes all the difference.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “Regresso Del Rey” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Regresso Del Rey. An adventure through Mexico City ensues when a stolen violin threatens the tour’s final concert in front of Rodrigo’s mentor.

“Regresso Del Rey” translates into english as “Return of the King,” and this is an adventurous episode, though not quite as epic as Tolkien’s final book of that famous trilogy. The orchestra is touring Latin America with their final stop Mexico City, Rodrigo’s home. So, he’s the returning king of the episode title. But the theme of this one isn’t really the returning king, it’s all about mystery. From the mystery taco Rodrigo eats and soon regrets Warren Boyd’s missing violin, the mysteries are many and their unfurling makes for a mighty fun trip.

Unfortunately for Hailey, she’s not to embark on the easy breezy tour through Latin America she anticipated because Mike’s passport expired and thus she must fill in as Rodrigo’s assistant for the interim. Hailey’s with him all the time at first, even as Rodrigo eats a street taco which she wisely passes on. When asked what’s in it Rodrigo says, “It’s a mystery – that’s why it tastes so good”. Then as he’s throwing up throughout the following scene she’s making arrangements for their final performance. Rodrigo has been worried about this particular performance since the first episode because his father figure and mentor will be there watching. But now here he is on the brink of the big gig and all Rodrigo can think is that he lost his strong Mexican stomach in America and didn’t even know how much he missed it until now.

But there’s no time to fret once his stomach’s emptied because there’s a crisis at the hotel – Warren Boyd, the first chair violinist was attacked. His taped-up glasses askew and a bruise on his noggin, Warren’s mighty flustered because his beloved and priceless Bergozi violin is gone. Luckily, Rodrigo saves the day and says, “If there’s a Bergozi on the move in Mexico City I know just who to call,” and ZIP his friend arrives in a flash… and looking flashy too. Their fixer, Manuel/Manu takes an instant liking to beautiful Hailey so, Rodrigo insists she go back inside the hotel, “to answer emails,” and Warren and Rodrigo get in the car with Manuel. Then this unlikely trio of guys are off to solve the mystery of the missing violin. At first it seems Manu might be a detective but his unorthodox methods soon reveal otherwise when he drives up on sidewalks and opens car doors with a wire hanger. But Rodrigo calls him “brother” so we know he’s good people. Manu explains that if there’s a Bergozi on the streets all they need to do is find this guy, Erasmo, and he’ll know where it is. He’s apparently THE priceless violin guy in Mexico City. The unfortunate caveat – nobody ever knows where the damn guy is.

They search for the mysterious Erasmo at strip clubs, alleyways, and various dark rooms but we get a sense that Manu isn’t just looking for Erasmo because he never takes off his sunglasses and is constantly skulking off to the side to whisper into his cellphone. Along the way Manu also asks Warren Boyd a few pointed questions about the attack to get a clear picture of what happened. But their primary focus is finding Erasmo, who they’re certain has all the relevant info. Then, finally after what seems an eternity of searching, they meet the mysterious Erasmo who offers them a primo violin for 150,000 pesos. Erasmo plays them a few gorgeous notes on it and declares that he hears every note in this city, “and if there was a Bergozi here I would know,” but he’s heard not a pluck of a Bergozi string. They leave Erasmo’s with the temporary replacement violin so Boyd can play in the concert for Rodrigo’s mentor that night. As they leave Erasmo’s hideaway Manu asks Warren Boyd one more question about his attack and then promises to have the violin for them soon. Rodrigo says Manuel always keeps his promises.

Despite these challenges, the symphony plays a magnificent concert the following night. Rodrigo’s mentor points out a few flaws but was overwhelmingly impressed with how much the symphony improved with Rodrigo’s conducting. He seems to see every little detail of the performance and even notices that Hailey “played with the blood” which makes her smile. After the show Manuel comes to Rodrigo and says he’s found the Bergozi. So, Warren goes with him to meet Manu outside the concert hall where the violin mystery finally unravels for all of us. It turns out Manuel is a sort of free range detective and that he’s been deducing the true story from Warren’s many telltale tiny clues all along. Manu informs us that the truth is Warren Boyd was never actually attacked. He faked the whole thing to collect the insurance money on his priceless violin. Manu shows Rodrigo and Warren the package Boyd gave to the concierge at the hotel to mail back to the states for him. They open it and inside is the famous Bergozi. It was back at the hotel all along, right where Warren Boyd had left it. Warren explains to Rodrigo that he’s got two girls in college and a second mortgage on a Manhattan apartment he can’t afford… these things coupled with fears of an imminent symphony spiraled him into financial panic and thus, bad decision-making.

Rodrigo plays the confession scene like a king disappointed in his right hand man – his concertino and first chair violin. But no, he won’t turn Warren Boyd in to the police for this because Rodrigo forgives the crime. Warren Boyd’s future role in the symphony, though, remains uncertain. Rodrigo offers him no guarantee and thus Boyd’s punishment will be to live with that uncertainty mixed with a certain guilt that he betrayed his king.

This was the first episode of Mozart in the Jungle to really stick to one main storyline all the way through. There was a brief sidebar when we saw sexual tension among orchestra players and snuck a peek at Gloria and Pavel sharing a hotel room. But for the most part this episode belonged entirely to the king and his right hand man. It was an adventurous way to introduce Rodrigo at home again but the true party has hardly started because the good stuff awaits in episode six. That’s right, it’s finally here, the best episode of the season is next and it’s a doozy. Get ready for laughs, romance, surprises, and even a glimpse into Rodrigo’s sweet, sad, vulnerable side. It’s a glorious visit to the place that made Rodrigo who he is and also forces him to face all the ways he’s changed. Luckily, he’s got Hailey by his side this time.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “Touché, Maestro, Touché” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Touché, Maestro, Touché. Hailey goes out with a famous guest Cellist, Pembridge and Rodrigo enjoy a guys night in, and Gloria proves herself.

Searching is the theme of Mozart in the Jungle episode four. They haven’t left for Mexico yet but these characters are already on their way somewhere. Hailey explores the world of elite classical musicians, Rodrigo and Pembridge reach a newfound echelon of consciousness, and Gloria harkens back to her former self in a search that takes her to the most unexpected place of all. It begins, as many explorations do, with an inspiring guest, in this case the famous cellist Andrew Walsh (played by Dermot Mulroney) who brings fresh insight on the status quo of the orchestra. In this case his insight is merely that Rodrigo needs to cut down on the cookies… but it’s new thinking nonetheless.

The show opens on the symphony now glorious with the addition of the star cellist who’s a free agent in the classical music world; a nomad who comes and goes as he pleases, and sexy too. After the performance he introduces himself to Hailey and invites her out “to see Lang Lang play” (Lang Lang is a virtuouso Chinese pianist) after sniffing around red-lipped stunner Cynthia in such a way that it’s clear they previously slept together. Meanwhile outside the concert hall Rodrigo gazes at the photo of Hailey on the marquis outside when Pembridge comes by in a limo and offers him a ride. So, Rodrigo puts his bike in the trunk and joins his hermano maestro for the evening.

Turns out Walsh was using the verb “play” as a double entendre because he takes Hailet to a bar party that doubles as a sort of playground for the classical elite. World-renowned pianist Emanuel Ax plays ping pong with Joshua Bell, famous violinist, while Lang Lang asks Hailey for dating advice. They bowl and play assorted arcade games then end up in a photo booth together, Hailey ensconced in the middle of all this musical genius. She’s in heaven. It’s a whole new world and, though surrounded by virile young men, it’s clear Walsh is the Aladdin to Hailey’s Jasmine. After the party she goes back to Walsh’s place and he paints cello marks on her naked back to take a photo before they fall into each other’s arms for the night. Later in the after sex glow they talk about their careers and Hailey’s intrigued by Walsh’s independence and happiness as he travels the world playing music freelance style.

Back at Pembridge’s apartment it’s pity party time as he explains to Rodrigo his “fugue of despair” AKA divorce papers, a bittersweet symphony. He pulls out a bottle of booze and Rodrigo stops him from opening it saying it’s poison for Pembridge (who gave up drinking) and they don’t need it. Maestro is mad grateful and Rodrigo says that’s what hermanos are for. Then he offers up a way for them to seek their own brand of abyss – booze free. His friend in Fort lee, New Jersey gave him this odd hallucinogenic concoction of resin, mushroom, and frog venom which, though they both declare “smells like shit” they also immediately start eating. Before long they’re curled up in a tent they concocted on the floor of Pembridge’s study to play a mind blowingly funny game of question and answer. Their deadpan faces and absurd commentary are laugh out loud hilarious and then they get serious, talk about mothers and death and recite a loving poem to each other in unison before Pembridge passes out on the couch. Then Rodrigo stays up to conduct an imaginary orchestra but gets distracted by the luminous face of imaginary Hailey, sitting in the oboe chair and looking at him that way he loves.

All the while Gloria is off on her own brand of adventure, an open mike night. She tantalizes the room in a gorgeous sequin dress with a sexy song. She doesn’t see Pavel from the orchestral crew in the audience but there he is with his Czech absinthe and beard, leaning against the brick wall. Gloria walks over near the wall to sing the end of the sultry song and then recognizes Pavel. She sings to him, even rubbing up against him a little. After her song she joins Pavel for a drink and it turns out he just happens to be a regular at this place because it’s right by his apartment. He compliments her voice and Gloria says it was the last place she expected to see someone she knew. Pavel asks her what she’s doing there and she says, “Searching… I suppose,” and then the episode ends as Rodrigo’s assistant tells him it’s time to go to JFK and get on their plane to Mexico. So, their journeys continue.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “It All Depends on You” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
It All Depends on You. For Mozart in the Jungle Episode “It All Depends on You” Rodrigo gets evicted, Hailey thinks about her future, and some musicians get heated.

Episode three, “It All Depends on You,” is titled ironically. Many people think they know what ironic means, including Alanis Morissette, but many people are wrong. The true definition of ironic is “happening in the the opposite way of what is expected” which actually has nothing to do with coincidence or cuteness, the oft-cited but still incorrect usage of the word irony. So, in an ironic twist, the episode is titled, “It All Depends on You,” but then the events in the episode revolve around characters quickly and easily being replaced, often to their great dismay. Turns out it didn’t all depend on them and we could all learn a thing or two from that Beyonce song and just accept that nobody is Irreplaceable after all.

We open on Rodrigo waking up after the night of his drum circle debauchery with some consequences to face. Turns out last night’s loud cries of passion may have just been the last straw for his free ride in the apartment of our dreams. The building manager tells Rodrigo it’s time to go and he’s fine with it. One thing that’s lovely about his character, he knows how to go with the flow of life. So, Gloria takes him in because she’s got plenty of room in her townhouse and, as head of the orchestral board, she’s kinda like his caretaker. When he comes over Rodrigo hears Gloria singing in the shower and (seeing as how she’s Bernadette Peters) he’s captivated by her gorgeous voice. He tells her she must get back into singing for an audience again because, “We are notes in this beautiful concert of existence. If we don’t play ourselves, nobody will,” which, luckily, inspires Gloria as much as it does us.

Meanwhile Hailey also gets inspired when she visits a famous old oboist that Bradford interviews for his classical music podcast. The oboist tells Hailey she can’t be so shy if she wants to be first chair, she’s got to be a showoff – a prima donna. Essentially he gives her exactly the same advice that Rodrigo just gave Gloria. Hailey’s inspired by it and even tells Lizzie maybe it’s time to get her own apartment so Lizzie and Bradford can play house while Hailey has adventures.

Back at the symphony there’s another changing of the guard at hand because their appointed guest conductor has just unexpectedly died and will need to be replaced pronto. So, Rodrigo sends condolences and then discusses potential replacements but isn’t at all pleased with Pembridge’s first choice. It’s Lennox, a hot young prodigy that people say, “can conduct all night long,” and has the same bad boy reputation Rodrigo did when he began conducting for the NY Symphony. Rodrigo’s clearly intimidated at the prospect of being replaced. Then it immediately gets worse when he encounters Lennox conducting his orchestra in Beethoven’s fifth, a baby strapped to his back, cause he’s cool like that. Lennox immediately tells Rodrigo and Pembridge they’re two of his idols “from the older generation,” … the horror. But everybody pretends to like each other, except the baby. It’s the first ever to not be in love with Rodrigo. A real blow to his RodrEGO.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only disappointment for Rodrigo because later he goes to the park and finds his symphony playing the softball he forbade. Hailey sees him hiding in the trees and walks over. She asks why he’s spying when he could just come on the field and stop them. Rodrigo says he got conflicted because the game was getting so good. Then they stand awkwardly, arms crossed and he asks about her oboe practice. Good good, it’s going really well, she says. Rodrigo snarks that he’s glad she’s not getting distracted by “social distractions” and Hailey says, “Like donor events?” and then points out that he told her the falcon must take wing and she’s the falcon. He asks what she’s talking about and she says he knows and what’s he talking about? Then they have the hilarious back and forth, “I’m talking about what I’m talking about,” followed by her responding, “I don’t think you are because we never talk about what we’re talking about,” which does indeed seem to be the case. But before they can reach any clarity there’s an accident on the field with Betty, the first chair oboist. Her finger appears to be broken and she won’t be able to play for awhile. “Hope you’ve got your passport in order because it looks like you’ll be going to Mexico,” Betty says to Hailey. Thus, the episode concludes with yet another unexpected changing of the guard. There was a lot of change packed into this one but it all gets kicked into even higher gear soon when they finally go to Mexico. Yes that’s right, Rodrigo goes home.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “Nothing Resonates Like Rhinoceros Foreskin” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Nothing Resonates Like Rhinoceros Foreskin. Rodrigo makes some changes in how he conducts; Gloria extends an unusual invitation to Hailey.

The amazing title of season two’s second episode for Mozart in the Jungle, “Nothing Resonates Like Rhinoceros Foreskin,” says it all literally and figuratively. The phrase comes from a joke the Jason Schwartzman character, Bradford, says in one of the episode’s early scenes. He and his girlfriend, Lizzie (Hailey’s roomie) just returned from a six week trip to collect rare, exotic musical instruments. One such instrument is the tiny drum Bradford holds up to Alex (Hailey’s boyfriend) and says, “Tap it as softly as you can,” then the sound thrums gently and Bradford delivers the hilarious title line that turns out not just a joke but also the resonant theme of the episode. Sometimes when you shift your perspective just a tiny bit, everything changes. We hear this idea again only moments later when Lizzie passes along some wizened, just-acquired-world-traveler advice to the flummoxed Hailey. She tells her to just look at things a little differently for answers to her multitude of looming life questions.

Lizzie clears things right away, like a windshield wiper to Hailey’s foggy lovesick brain. Entering the living room they share Lizzie asks what Hailey sees and she says, “Mike making our guests really uncomfortable,” while their friend, Mike, gets into the lilting acoustic music with a hardcore dance. But Lizzie sees something else in Mike, “an energetic young man who’s full of potential; lives and breathes music everyday,” the precise qualities needed for Hailey’s replacement to assist Rodrigo. Thus with a simple flip of the switch Lizzie turns the light on for Hailey and solves one of her major challenges.

Meanwhile at rehearsal newfound “Stern Papa” Rodrigo has finally arrived and it’s no more happy fun ball for the symphony. He lectures them about their bad behavior, takes away their softball team, and threatens culprits with removal from the orchestra if a cellphone ever goes off again during a performance. Then without hesitation he pounces into passionate conducting and seizes the opportunity of their fired up angry blood with a flowering of powerful music. This shows a serious shift in perspective for Rodrigo which deeply affects the orchestra. They’re already playing better and are more cohesive only seconds after his speech.

Thomas Pembridge also has boiling blood from the feedback of his dear friend and brilliant pianist, Winslow, perfectly portrayed by master thespian, Wallace Shawn. After he shares the symphony he’s been composing, Pembridge finds a rude awakening in store – the truth. Turns out Winslow thinks it stinks. In fact, he says even great conductors can’t really become decent composers because they’ve spent their lives studying all the best music and thus can only ever create derivative work. It’s hopeless, Pembridge! So, he responds in his classic fashion and tells Winslow to put on some rubber gloves and go fuck himself, though it pains him to say so… but not really. Pembridge boots him right out of the apartment, deaf to Winslow’s cries of, “I’m sensitive there! Oh you’re tickling me! Ouch that smarts!” etc. With Wallace Shawn and Malcolm Macdowell at the helm, the scene can’t help but be hilarious.

Then Gloria shows Hailey some new art that the orchestra wants to use for their new ad campaign and it’s a giant picture of Hailey’s gorgeous face. She says, “But I’m just a substitute…” and they insist that she’s part of the team who will just happen to bring a more youthful vitality to the symphony’s image. This will help them change the way hipsters see the orchestra and hopefully get fresh young patrons and ticket buyers. So, everybody is trying to shift everybody else’s point of view in this episode. It’s epidemic. Luckily Hailey’s totally fine with them using her image and even agrees to attend a donors banquet that Gloria’s hosting to bring in younger patronage. In fact, she cancels her plans to please Gloria.

Afterward Hailey visits Rodrigo’s apartment to find him gazing sadly at his divorce papers. Did you forget he was married to that wild violinist? Yes… but not for long. He’s hesitant to sign and grateful for the distraction when Hailey shows up… but not for long. She’s got news. They stand on the spectacular terrace where Rodrigo lives rent-free thanks to a rich orchestral patron and it’s a challenge not to die from amazement that anyone could possibly have this view of Manhattan RENT-FREE but such is the luck of the extraordinary Rodrigo. Hailey then introduces Mike as Rodrigo’s new assistant. At first he wants nothing to do with Mike but after challenging him to a series of Herculean tasks and questions all of which Mike easily conquers, Rodrigo has to admit that Mike is indeed the perfect replacement for Hailey. She’s thus now free to practice her oboe till the cows come home – an oboists heaven – and all it took was a change in Rodrigo’s point of view.

Next the symphony musician representatives meet at a pizza place to discuss their contract negotiations. Cynthia announces that the management board (led by Gloria) rejected their terms and many of them react with insecurity and say they’re asking the board for too much and should “just take what we can get,” as Nina, their new lawyer joins them. She’s here to play hardball and calls them wimps. Nina insists that their best next move is to get some dirt on the board members and leak it to the press. Cynthia then pulls Nina aside to remind her that she works for them and needs to represent the orchestra’s interests. Nina agrees but also diverts Cynthia saying she can’t concentrate around her because she’s so sexy. Cynthia blushes and then Nina says, “Jesus, could you get more hot?” and we can confidently state that no, it doesn’t get much hotter than Saffron Burrows. So, Nina shifted Cynthia’s attention in this scene away from the topic at hand (doing her job) and turned it into a flirtation. It will be a long time before Cynthia gets her mind back on the symphony’s interests rather than her own sexual desires. So, though Nina may be a shark and possibly even a good lawyer, she’s not what this orchestra needs right now.

In the following scene Gloria hosts the benefit for young donors in her enormous apartment. She proposes an idea for a new hall with perfect acoustics and a message to the classical music world that the New York Symphony respresents the future. Gloria then rolls out a cake in the shape of this new modern hall and Rodrigo tells the group of young rich peeps (in Spanish) that he hopes to one day call it home. Hailey then meets one of the generous young donors, a stock market guy named Eric and sparks fly between them. Rodrigo sees this flirtation and gets a serious case of envious crankass. He’s suddenly “Stern Papa” again and tells Hailey, “this isn’t Acapulco,” before leaving abruptly. But then his whole perspective shifts too when he soon finds a group of musicians playing and dancing in a park. They throw Rodrigo a tambourine and he’s completely at home, grooving and jangling with his joyful mojo back one hundred percent thanks to the music. He takes home a gorgeous little vixen from the group and the episode closes on her screams of delight in his bed before the camera pans out to the sultry city lights below. It’s our last little shift of perspective in an episode packed with plenty of refreshing new ways to see Mozart in the Jungle characters at work and play.

–Katherine Recap

[For Mozart in the Jungle “Stern Papa” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Stern Papa. Rodrigo has doubts despite his success; Hailey seeks her replacement so she can focus on her substitute oboe position; Cynthia meets the orchestra’s new lawyer.

Here’s a brief Mozart in the Jungle refresher for those hazy on season one:

The show was created by Roman Coppola, Jason Schwartzman, and Alex Timbers after they got the idea from an oboist’s memoir of the same title with the titillating subtitle: Sex, Drugs, and Classical Music. The show doesn’t disappoint on any of these three counts. It’s a wonderland of artistry as well, which puts Mozart in the Jungle in a class all its own these days. It’s the story of an orchestra and their magnetic and eccentric conductor, Rodrigo, told through the perspective of a newbie oboist who gets her feet wet as Rodrigo’s assistant. With the fireworks of talent shooting out of every casting decision, this is a tough show to pass over once you’ve seen who’s in it.

Gael Garcia Bernal plays Rodrigo De Souza, a charismatic conductor and whirlwind of musical genius who invigorates the jaded orchestra he joins in New York City. Rodrigo’s a true iconoclast who sucks the marrow out of every living minute.

Lola Kirke plays Hailey, a talented young oboist who spends season one getting her bearings. After Rodrigo hears her play he declares she must be part of the orchestra because she “plays with the blood!” and thus she becomes his assistant. Though she has a boyfriend, Hailey’s heart belongs to Rodrigo… and they did kiss at the end of season one.

Bernadette Peters is a glorious vision in curls playing Gloria, the head of the orchestral board of directors in season one. We didn’t see enough of her last season but Gloria shines bright in season two.

Malcolm Macdowell‘s Thomas Pembridge, the former maestro of the orchestra before Rodrigo came along, is one of those characters that always says and does the most ridiculous things yet remains eminently believable.

Saffron Burrows plays the cellist Cynthia. Blindingly beautiful and talented, Cynthia gets caught up in forbidden sexual dalliances because it would be a crime to keep that stunning body clothed throughout even one season.

Episode one of season two, “Stern Papa” dances around the parenting theme in multiple arrangements. One of the least obvious examples is the first scene where we find Rodrigo in Los Angeles where he’s guest conducting the Philharmonic. He’s talking to his usual muse, the ghost of Mozart, and we soon see the conversation devolve into Rodrigo battling against that nasty doubting (often of parental origin) voice in every artist’s head that sometimes says maybe we’re just a fraud, or perhaps we’re just terrible, etc. So, of course spicy chili pepper Rodrigo will have none of this and shouts a storm at Mozart, scaring him away only to then immediately want Wolfgang back. And thus begins an episode packed with child/parent dynamics.

When he returns to New York and his home orchestra, Rodrigo finds his musicians playing softball, a game their previous maestro forbade them to play for fear it may impact their playing from injuries or even just the time suck. So, they’re a bit nervous when they see him coming on their playfield. But then he’s just their buddy their pal, mr cool kid Rodrigo so instead of forbidding their game he joins as pitcher and they play together. Hey guys, it’s fun daddy! Everybody loves fun daddy – right? In fact, they love him so much that at their first rehearsal they open with Take Me Out to the Ballgame. He’d instructed them to play Shubert but what’s a little joke among buddies who love each other – right? But the real love for Rodrigo emanates from Hailey, who can’t seem to stop her adoring Rodrigo gaze even as she admonishes him for bad behavior.

Speaking of which, Hailey chides Rodrigo when he quickly dismisses the replacement Gloria chose to become Rodrigo’s new assistant, Sarabelle Westmore. Rodrigo spends only seconds with her before finding her habit of stating everything in question form intolerable. In his defense, Sarabelle’s totally annoying and she arrives when he’s already at his limit. Gloria works his every nerve to get him to convince the orchestra to take the board’s new contract offering. Rodrigo doesn’t deal with red tape. He just wants to talk music and make the orchestra better – that’s all he cares about. Meanwhile Hailey just wants to find a replacement assistant so she can focus on the oboe… and possibly get into Rodrigo’s pants.

Which Cynthia reprimands Hailey for, setting up yet another “tsk tsk” parent/child dynamic, when she tells her that, “Triangle Tina saw Rodrigo kissing you at last season’s finale performance,” then warns her to focus on the oboe. She promises to tell Triangle Tina to shut her yap as long as Hailey keeps focusing on her own instrument rather than Rodridgo’s. Then in the very next scene we’re introduced to Cynthia’s season two love interest: The orchestra’s new lawyer, Nina, played by Gretchen Mol. Nina clearly has the hots for Cynthia from the get go. The symphony hired Nina because they think they’re getting a rotten deal and heard she’s a real shark. And when she zips into the story on her motorcycle with a fitted suit and instant Cynthia flirtation, we believe the “shark” comment. Nina quickly warms to all the players including Betty, the orchestra’s longest running member, consistently clad in Eileen Fisher and matching smug expression. She’s also the first chair oboe – which directly affects Hailey’s potential for advancement in the orchestra.

Rodrigo maintains a resonant concern throughout the first episode of season two. He ruminates about their imminent trip to Mexico when the orchestra will play for his mentor, Maestro Rivera. Because the symphony “stinks” Rodrigo fears embarrassment in front of his primary father figure. Meanwhile the douche board member, Biben, has it out for Rodrigo and wants to reinstate Pembridge as conductor. But Pembridge considers himself a composer now and won’t even consider the possibility. However, when Rodrigo asks Pembridge what he thought of the symphony’s welcome back performance he’s bursting with advice. This is where the episode gets its title “Stern Papa” as Pembridge suggests the orchestra lacks cohesion due to Rodrigo not being parental enough. He needs to be “Stern Papa,” like all the great conductors before, such as Pembridge himself. Then he asks for Rodrigo to take a look at the symphony he’s composing and says, “not to toot my own horn but I think it’s absolutely fucking brilliant,” and who can say no to that?

After leaving Pembridge’s pad, Rodrigo bikes to Hailey’s place at three in the morning and asks her what the orchestra thinks of him. She says they think he’s crazy but believe in him… and sometimes they think they love him. Then Hailey asks if he sometimes thinks he loves the orchestra and he says “not sometimes, all the time”. But he’s the conductor, he explains, and thus has to maintain some distance. It’s the classic parental push and pull between love and setting limits. Of course, they’re not just talking about the symphony but also each other. Then Rodrigo tells her he has to get to work and get this terrible orchestra on track while she has to find a replacement for herself so she can focus on practicing oboe. “The falconeer and the falcon must both take wing!” Rodrigo declares as he bikes away. Leaving Hailey on her stoop to wonder aloud if she’s the falcon – not yet realizing that if they both take flight it really doesn’t matter which is which. They soar together.

–Katherine Recap

[For American Horror Story – Hotel “Be Our Guest” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FX Summary:
Be Our Guest Iris and Liz oversee a new era; John and Alex struggle to adapt to life outside the hotel.

If you’re into American Horror Story Hotel for the sex you may find this season finale, “Be Our Guest” disappointing – because there isn’t any – and there’s only a tidbit of violence, comparatively. But when it comes to thematic resonance, symbolism, and tying up loose ends, this baby delivers with only one glaring exception. Also, don’t get too attached to the FX summary because we learn virtually nothing about John and Alex’s adaptation to life outside the hotel other than that it was a colossal failure and they returned soon after leaving. Gaga and Angela Basset make brief appearances in the finale but these vignettes are penetrating shots of glamour and poignance that make a lasting impact in this season’s final bit of glorious hotel madness.

We open on Liz and Iris, the new hotel management duo, as they attempt to mold a glamorous luxury destination out of this ghost-ridden fleabag. A year has passed since the last episode and they’ve liquidated The Countess’s art collection to pay for redecorating and even installed fancy Japanese toilets. Unfortunately, there’s an intrinsic glitch in their plan – they’ll never get rid of the murderous ghosts. So, though they welcome two hotel website reviewers for a grand Hotel Cortez reopening – they can’t ever get those coveted four gold stars. Sally and Will Drake make sure of it when they get all stab-happy and ruin the whole shebang, killing the reviewers before they even have a chance to sit down on the new furniture. Liz and Iris shake their heads in disgust at the cleanup that awaits and their hopeless situation. The Cortez will never get any stars at this rate! The duo call a meeting of the Cortez ghosts and Liz ding-ding-dings the side of a martini glass, calling it to order.

They ask the ghosts to stop killing the guests so they can make the hotel a luxury “destination” but Sally and Will say no. Hell no, in fact, murder is just too much fun. Then James March enters to give an inspiring soliloquy about how this is their HOME they’ve got to stop killing so it can become a historical landmark. But really, it’s probably just that he’s stopped killing and handed over the murder king crown to John Lowe. So, why should these minor league ghosts get to have all the fun? Iris and Liz say they have to become a destination because they can’t survive without the money that would make them. Drake’s is drying up now that he’s dead and not designing anymore. Sally gets pissy, saying the hell that awaits if they burn down the Cortez would be all the same as living there is now. She leaves the meeting to pout in her room but Iris follows and tells Sally she knows of a more permanent fix than going to hell – something with a real future. Iris advises her to become a literal ghost in the machine. She hands Sally a smartphone loaded up with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram – the whole shebang and explains that she can create a whole new world for herself. Suddenly Sally’s inspired – she’s an artist after all. Soon Sally has a rabid online audience seeking her every tweet, photo, and video. Finally, the artist that’s been dying to be acknowledged inside Sally has a rapt audience. She becomes so popular and validated as SallyThatGurl online Sally throws away her needles and smack. Her online identity made Sally into somebody she can face in the mirror sober. After all who needs rehab when you’ve got fanboys and followers feeding your ego 24/7?

Meanwhile Will Drake lives the complete opposite lifestyle just down the hall. He hides from his adoring public and gets drunk all the time. Liz sent his son to a fancy boarding school and keeps tabs on the business; which, though not thriving, gets by on its fragrance and accessory lines. Ironically, his fans think he’s in rehab so Will could easily continue to create fashion from the Cortez and nobody would be the wiser. His biz could thrive again rather than just survive if only he’d participate in it again. Liz offers to help him do this and Drake seems truly intrigued, inspired even at the prospect. It makes sense, Liz was a salesman in her former life and bleeds Dior in this one. Who’s better equipped for a revitalization of a fashion brand? So, in the next scene Liz attends a Will Drake corporate board meeting and takes over the business helm while Will designs a whole new season of amazing Drake magic from his lair of mystery and thus they became eminently successful as a fashion team. Even still… loads of success on this fabulous fashion venture doesn’t make Liz happy. Then she realizes nothing really can or ever will because she still misses her beloved Tristan.

So, Iris hires a famous TV psychic, played by Sarah Paulson, named Billie Dean to find Tristan’s spirit. The trio do a calling out to him in Liz’s room where Tristan died at the razor-tipped fingers of The Countess. Billie Dean reaches what seems to be Tristan but he has no message and then Liz says it’s because she’s the reason Tristan’s dead – weeping. The psychic tells Liz to be strong and then suddenly starts to get messages from the manly spirit in the room. He smells pancakes, she says and watches Saturday morning cartoons. Um, that’s not Tristan, bitch. It’s Donovan and he’s there to tell Iris he loves her. Billie tells Iris not to worry and that Donovan is speaking to her from a beautiful place far from the Hotel Cortez. So, Liz never does get to speak to Tristan through Billie but in a following scene we see her become a grandmother as she attends the birth of her son’s new daughter, which makes her happy. Liz gets to leave behind her own legacy now.

In the next scene Ms. Taylor tells Ramona and all the ghosts she’s just gotten some horrible news. She’s the only woman in the world with prostate cancer and will die soon. So, she insists that they need to kill her and take her out of this misery. But the ghosts love Liz and don’t want to kill her …until Sally explains that because it’s the Cortez she’ll be reborn and can be with them forever. They’re just about to do the deed when The Countess (heretofore hiding) interrupts and says Liz was always her fondest creation and she wants to help. Then The Countess does her signature razor fingernail throat slash just for Liz this time. The good news is that as soon as Liz dies she’s reunited with Tristan. He explains that he couldn’t get in the way of her continuing to live her life to the fullest so that was why he stayed silent with Billie but, of course, he loves Liz, like always.

Next we’re transported forth to 2022 and the psychic Billie Dean now frequently uses the Cortez to film her TV show and discover all sorts of spirits and ghost stories. Billie’s main objective revolves around John Lowe, the Ten Commandments Killer. She sees him as the ultimate ghost interview. Speaking of John, he shows up (a ghost now) just as Ramona and Iris discuss shutting down Billie Dean because they don’t want all the creepy guests her show attracts to the Cortez now that Drake’s designer legacy keeps then in business money-wise. When Lowe shows up they appeal to him for help with Billie and he’s happy to oblige. He offers her an on camera interview. Billie says she wants to set the record straight and asks if his family knew he was a serial killer. He doesn’t really answer and just says he let them down. The Billie asks if he killed his family. Although it appears that he didn’t, John says to stop talking about his family. Which is a powerful parallel to all the past convos he’s had with Sally, also played by Sarah Paulson. Then we see a brief flashback to Lowe’s family showing back up at the Cortez after sending Scarlet off to the same boarding school where Will Drake’s son went. While the three of them lived at the Cortez, John kept killing at night on the streets of LA to collect blood for his wife and son. Then late one night after one such murder and blood collection, John gets shot by police near the outside of the Cortez. He wants to crawl inside but doesn’t make it. In fact, the only reason he can be there talking to her that night is because it’s October 30th.

So, then Billie asks him about the significance of the date and he tells her it’s Devil’s Night and if she’s willing to go with him without the cameras he’ll show her what that means. John takes her hand. Thus the cameraman’s perspective shows it floating in the air as Billie leaves the room with the ghost of John Lowe. They walk down the screaming hallowed halls just the two of them and then he brings her to the notorious serial killer party where she’s greeted by John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer, then Aileen Wournos, and Richard Ramirez. John asks her if she’s scared and she says no because she just surrounds herself with the white light of spirit to protect her, to which John sarcastically says, “Sure thing, sweetheart,” but Billie’s serious. Then she recognizes James March and half passes out. John drugs her and the killers collectively tie her to a chair then threaten to kill her if she keeps doing TV specials, tweets and interviews about the hotel. She’s gotta shut her dang trap. Billie says even if she promised they can’t hold her to her word because they can’t leave the hotel. They’re trapped. Ha! But then Ramona shows up, not dead, and says she’ll wqtch over Billie’s skinny ass to keep her in line. Billie flees the hotel then in a terrified state, presumably never to return.

After this scene John goes back to his hotel room and Scarlet’s there for a visit, much older now and looking about college age. Lowe says he’s afraid to go asleep because once he closes his eyes she’ll be gone for another year. But Scarlet tells John it’s OK, he should rest and he does. Then we see The Countess courting a young hottie that reminds her of Valentino in the hotel bar. She looks better than ever in a royal blue dress slit down to kingdom come and sparkling silver gloves with razor nails on each fierce fingertip. She uses one to trace his perfect bone structure and purrs,”You’ve got a jawline for days,” speaking a truth that resonates not only in that moment but seems to echo eternal through the halls of the Hotel Cortez. We’re right back where we started. It’s the circle of life… and death.

Thus we say goodbye to the fabulous limited series American Horror Story – Hotel. This one was a fun and glamorous romp with an extra dose of bloody lust, nudity, and drugs. One might refer to it as rock n’ roll horror but really it should always be known as the Gaga season because she made all the difference. Her Golden Globe was well-earned and we loved every minute of her onscreen. In fact, there wasn’t much we would change about this season. Although, we never really found out much about that maggoty drill bit dick guy, which is pretty ironic because who would think a guy that violently screws people with his drill bit loins would turn out to be nothing but a big ol’ narrative tease?

–Katherine Recap

[For Transparent “Grey Green Brown & Copper” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Grey Green Brown & Copper Maura has a love connection and reconciles her past; Ali discusses her future with Leslie, Josh seeks a father’s love in Buzz; Sarah ties up loose ends.

The season two finale episode of Transparent brings us to the other side of the Pfefferman life transitions with each the characters looking at life in a new way now. Josh deals with his buried feelings and finally finds a comfortable place to fall apart and get the empathy he needs. Ali brings together the past and present Pfeffermans and gets ready to move forward with a greater understanding of both. Sarah finds solace in a new weekly practice and begins to make peace with her past. Maura, meanwhile, finally visits her mother and introduces her true self only to find she’s accepted and had nothing to fear.

“Grey Green Brown & Copper” draws its title from a phase of the Pfefferman pool back when the three siblings were kids and going through that transitional period of tweens and adolescence on their way adulthood. Their family’s changes back parallel it’s current transition. What we mainly learn in season two is that it’s one thing to become an adult and quite another to actually grow up. For the Pfeffermans, as for most people, the latter transition serves as more challenging but at least the trio of siblings had each other. We especially feel their bond as they play tea party underwater in the pool. Water also reconciles the bond between Maura and her mother when in the last scene they watch the ocean tide together.

The episode opens on Vicki in a hotel room with Maura. She’s discussing her breast cancer and double mastectomy but her secure attitude reveals she’s over it at this point. Maura then asks if she’s comfortable sharing a room and Vicki says yes and that she’s NATO, not attached to outcome. Then they spoon on one of the double beds and fall asleep cuddling. When they awaken in the morning they smooch tenderly and then Vicki straddles Maura. The two have mind-blowing sex before Vicki collapses into Maura’s arms and they’re happy together. The couple then go to breakfast at a diner and Maura talks about visiting her mother. She feels terrible that it’s been three years since seeing her and decides it’s time to visit Rose.

In the next scene we see a flashback to melancholy Rose and her mother traveling by ship to America. Her mother hands her a large block of chocolate which Rose breaks open to find the pearl ring Gittel gave her inside. We know from the events of season two that this ring will always represent Gittel to Rose and is thus much more meaningful than just a pretty Pfefferman family heirloom.

Next we see Sarah and Ali swimming in the pool at Maura’s house, where Josh still lives, though alone now that Raquel moved out. It’s early morning and he wakes up, makes breakfast and, when he hears them splashing, joins his sisters. They swim and talk about how everything changed for their family one particular summer when they were kids and they suddenly stopped swimming in the pool. Apparently the pool guy quit that summer and then the pool filled with leaves for two years because nobody would scoop it. The bottom got all “Grey, Green, Brown and Copper” so much so that they could have gone sliding across it like a backyard slip n’ slide. But instead they avoided the pool and stopped hanging out together in the way they are right now. Then Sarah says she’s thinking about exploring her spiritual mojo but Josh tells her she can’t go to Raquel for that. After their swim and showering the three of them snuggle up next to each other in Josh’s bed to watch dumb TV. They talk about how it’s the first time in adulthood they’re all single at the same time. It brings them together in a way they haven’t been since the onset of Transparent. There’s real love in that bed. Then Ali sees the pearl ring on Josh’s nightstand and asks if she can have it. He’s happy to give it to her and she immediately puts it on a necklace around her neck. After this deep triad sibling connection scene the three Pfefferman kids each make a symbolic visit to someone significant in their personal story.

Ali goes to UCLA looking hot in a polka dot halter dress, the pearl ring around her neck, and glowing with newfound confidence. She visits Leslie who offers her a choice. Ali can either spend the next year as her student and teaching assistant or she can be her girlfriend but can’t be both. It’s up to her. Next we see Ali on a train with Maura apologizing for what happened at Idylwild. Then she says she’s thinking about studying with Leslie in the Fall and so we see where her choice regarding Leslie seems to be leaning. They go together to visit Rose and Maura’s nervous that her mother will be seeing her as a woman for the first time. When they finally get to Rose, Maura holds her hand and says, “It’s Morty but they call me Maura now,” and (just Maura’s luck) right then her sister Bri enters the room. But she doesn’t say anything and a silent moment passes between all of them as Rose notices the pearl ring hanging from Ali’s neck and takes it into her hand. She clearly recognizes it, a big deal because she’s had dementia for a long while. This brings them together in unified love for Rose because all are so happy just to see her experience a real connected moment with them.

Sarah visits Pony, whom she met at Idylwild and gets a paddle spanking that makes her smile and wriggle with delight. Then she pays using a credit card Pony swipes on her iPhone and they agree to meet again next week. Afterward Sarah visits Len, her ex husband and tries to make amends by giving him a brand new $485 eyeshadow palette just like the one she ruined and lifted from his girlfriend, Melanie. But Len asks if she’s got a gift receipt because Melanie left him. Sarah comforts Len and tells him she’s sorry and that Melanie’s wrong about Len “being boring”. It’s clear Sarah really means it. But then Sarah goes against Josh’s wishes and visits Raquel to ask if she has a minute to talk.

Speaking of Josh, he visits Buzz and they have a long talk over beers. Then Josh hears a sick duck and goes to it’s side. Buzz shows Josh how to help the duck by wrapping it in Josh’s jacket. and having Josh carry it on his shoulder like a baby into the condo where they fill a bathtub so it can swim and heal. They looking at the duck together and Josh confides that nothing’s adding up in his life. Buzz says he’s grieving the loss of his father. “Josh, your father died,” he explains and that it’s time mourn the loss. Buzz offers his shoulder for Josh and he weeps. It helps him. Josh has finally found his soft place to fall and maybe even a father figure to boot.

Then we revisit Rose and her mother in Los Angeles 1934. They track down the father who abandoned them in Berlin and their worst fears are realized. He’s remarried and has a new child. It’s evident that he had no intention of sending for them. In fact, he nastily accuses Rose’s mother, his “real” wife of being a failure because she couldn’t get Gershon to come with them. Then he tries to bribe Rose with offers of a book from a nearby shop, “You like to read, don’t you?”. The whole debacle sickens the two of them, along with us. They spit in his doorway on the way out. It might seem petty if he didn’t deserve worse.

In the last scene Maura, Ali, and Bri take Rose to the beach to look at the ocean and we see a flashback of when Maura was born. Rose’s mother worries in the waiting room and Rose’s husband keeps telling her to stop fretting. He’s got it all figured out. She says Rose didn’t even pick a name yet and he says that’s no problem because he already picked a name, Faye Pfefferman. Sounds like a movie star. She says what if it’s not a girl? And he says he knows it is because a father knows these things. Then Maura gets born and the doctor holds her up and says, “Congratulations, it’s a boy”. The last shot is of Maura’s happy face as she stands beside her mother and looks out at the ocean expanse before them. Her future is as limitless as the beautiful blue sea. We’re all pulling for you, Maura, and hoping you always feel beautiful while less and less blue.

–Katherine Recap

[For Transparent “Man on the Land” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

Amazon.com Summary:
Man on the Land Maura has a rude awakening; Sarah experiences liberation; Ali finds herself on a journey to the past.

The next-to-last Transparent episode “Man on the Land” revolves around the notions of danger and rescue. It’s not always the case that “we’re in danger because we knowingly pursued it” is the basic idea, but we can be rescued either way. The main example of danger at the Idylwild Festival for Womyn turns out to be Maura, who represents a reluctant rebel, though Ali and Sarah have their own individual experiences with danger as well. The Pfefferman three also have a sort of rescue and liberation event that changes each of them in a meaningful way.

In the first scene Maura, Ali, and Sarah enter the Idylwild Womyns Music Festival where Ali and Sarah feel immediately at home among the naked ladies, hippies, and womynkind of all sorts. They dance to the Indigo Girls singing Hammer and Nail and then settle down to some less-than-appetizing nutloaf for lunch. Next Ali and Sarah pursue each of their respective goals; Ali to hear Leslie read her poetry and Sarah to explore her intentions in a tent with “Chief Crying Bear”. Maura then investigates the Idylwild market and meets Vicki (the intriguing Anjelica Huston) while shopping for owl feather earrings. Vicki’s a cheese monger from Larchmont who assumes Maura’s a rebel because she’s at the festival where the policy is “women born women only”. Little does Vicki know that Maura’s pretty much the opposite of a rebel and the minute she finds this out her heart starts a-thumping and terror zips through Maura’s mouse-in-a-cathouse veins.

Meanwhile Ali meets up with Leslie and they each announce they’re now single before Leslie finds out Ali took Maura to the festival and notifies her of the festival policy about “women born women only”. Ali registers immediately that she should track down Maura and Leslie asks if she can come along to help. Cue the sensual intrigue background grooves, baby. They put a note on a festival billboard telling Maura to meet them at the Sojourner Camp because Leslie says “There are lots of contraband hotdogs over there”. On the other side of the festival Sarah enters Crying Bear’s tent for the funniest part of this episode – Chief Crying Bear explains what the intentions tent is all about with a thick long island accent. “Some of you are here to mourn your murdered femininity. Some of you I know from my Drumming Away Racism group. We’re gonna go on a journey now where you’ll experience deep emotions; laughter and uncontrollable weeping is not uncommon…” Sarah excuses herself at that point muttering that she has the wrong tent. Then she sees a woman leading another on a leash and spanking her with a paddle. This mesmerizes Sarah and she follows them as if on a rein made of her deepest desires.

Waiting in line at the port-o-potty Maura gets a firsthand glimpse of the “women born women only” policy when the cleanup crew comes to take away the sewage from the potties and women around her start chanting, “Man on the Land,” in a strident manner that unnerves Maura. She asks someone about it and they explain that “it’s a penis alert so nobody gets triggered,” which sends Maura away from the potties in a panic. She finds Ali’s billboard note about Camp Sojourner and starts asking peeps where it is but nobody seems to know. Then the scene shifts to intercuts between an increasingly panicked searching Maura and an intrigued, glowing Sarah in pursuit of the woman with the paddle. Sarah eventually meets this mystery woman, Pony, and asks her about the whole leash dynamic. Pony explains that it’s a “play scene of consensual power exchange” and that was her “naughty doggy,” to which Sarah replies, “Woof”. Then she gets down and dirty with the spankings …nowhere near Camp Sojourner.

The sun goes down on Idylwild and Maura finally finds Ali at Camp Sojourner where she’s sits with Leslie and a group of the extremists who hold the “women born women only” policy particularly dear to their hearts. Some of them are even founders of the festival who chopped the trees and plowed the fields to clear the space for Idylwild. Maura says she wants to go but Leslie and Ali have her sit with them at the campfire to chill a bit first. Unfortunately this peaceful beginning quickly turns to discord when they discuss the policy and how penises are triggering because “we’ve all been raped” and they’re angry about Maura’s privilege. Yes, she suffered when a man but her pain and privilege are separate entities, they explain. So, Maura gets upset and leaves in a huff.

Ali picks up a lantern and heads out to find her Moppa while Maura investigates tents looking for the one Ali and Sarah took to sleep in while at Idylwild. But she gets more and more irritated by the entire affair as she fails tent after tent. Finally Maura gets loopy with the frustration at all of it and starts dancing around, tearing down tents, and singing the words “Man on the Land” until finally Vicki, whom she met at the owl earring booth, drives over to her and picks up Maura to take her away from Idylwild. She’s rescued. But really, it seems like Maura is saved from herself more than any real danger. Meanwhile Ali has a stoned experience that shifts her into the past. As she searches for her Moppa in the woods her feet are suddenly in the “Jew shoes” she talked about in her grad school application. During wartime female Jews were made to wear these ugly red and white shoes with bells on them so they could be heard coming from far away. Then Ali sees Rose and Gittel’s mother walking near her in the forest. Next we’re transported back to the 1933 Sex Institute where Nazis break down the doors, burn the research books, and hurt many of the members. Ali also sees this and stands by the bonfire of the Institute’s books where she holds Rose’s hand and together they watch as Nazis drag Gittel away. They cry. Afterward Ali seeks solace smooching with Leslie in the tent.

The danger represented in this episode isn’t real in the present day, though it certainly is for Gittel in 1933, something that, though it happened long ago, still touches this family today. Perhaps it’s this touchstone that puts the terror into Maura and brings her so much anxiety about not being welcome at Idylwild. Though it does seem likely that as a former member of the privileged group (men) this new feeling of being in the unwelcome category could have triggered her anxiety gene from the Epigenetics we learned about in the Cherry Blossom episode. No matter, though, Vicki rescues Maura in the end and she’s freed from danger, real or imagined. We know Sarah’s not in any real danger and that for her the danger titillates rather than terrifies. Her rescue comes when Sarah finally finds a way to explore this particular thrill in a consensual way where she feels understand. Ali learns about the danger her family endured during the war when she sees Gittel taken away by the Nazis and holds hands with the terrified Rose, her own grandmother. This experience coupled with alienating and upsetting her Moppa represent an emotional danger zone for Ali who then finds rescue in Leslie’s arms. So, all three Pfefferman women experience an individual form of danger, largely in their heads, but then find a tangible and real life rescue in a connection with another person. Could it be a coincidence that each rescuer/hero in “Man on the Land” is a woman”? We think not.

–Katherine Recap