There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paulie
HOH Nominated – Paul, Bronte
Roadkill Comp Winner – Victor
RK Nominated – Tiffany
Veto Winner – Paulie
Evicted – #1 Jozea
Battle Back challenge – Glenn vs. Jozea

22nd will be a special Battle Back episode of Big Brother

Have-Nots – Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

This summer’s skywriting incident happened July 3rd when a plane wrote in the bright blue sky, “Will You Marry Me?” right above the Big Brother backyard, so the houseguests could see it. Of course, it’s not necessarily a message to them but we find it fun to see their minds whirling; wondering if it could possibly have been meant for them somehow. A secret code between Vanessa and her sister? Who knows? The world may never know and they can’t possibly… but their grey matter will circulate scenarios about it anyway. BB does that to a bro.

On the Sunday night, July 3rd Big Brother TV show, it’s a hilarious HOH challenge because Paul’s goin’ nuts watching Zak and Day tiptoe trepidatious across logs while the other teams leap and zip across the yard like their lives depend on it. We find out that Paulie got HOH because his team, Category4, allowed him place the last berry – a ginormous blueberry – knowing this particular deed guaranteed HOH status.

Then we see Victor weeping in his diary session. A sweet sensitive soul for the moment, he says Jozea was a good guy and they were going to the end together. Bronte also seems overwhelmed with emotional betrayal and regrets. Their alliance realizes Day and Zak aren’t on their side after all which means they definitely don’t have the numbers needed to win this game.

As we know, Paulie nominates Paul and Bronte for eviction. Because Paul knows the true target is Victor, he says “The better beard’s gonna win,” in the DR after nominations are announced. Bronte, on the other hand, says she’ll never trust a boy in the Big Brother house again. Her newfound strategy is to “go under the radar” and keep herself hushed and sweet. We hope that serves her better because snarking at Paulie to his face certainly backfired hardcore and Fetchland loves nothing more than personal growth to improve gameplay. In his diary room, Victor seems surprised to not be up on the block but then turns out he DOES know what a backdoor is when he talks to Paul about it later in a knowing manner. So, all that appearing comfy and cool around the house was just an act! The feedsters assumed Victor was just clueless but perhaps it all really was just ACTING.

Next we have the Roadkill challenge and it’s a monetary competition involving counting dollahs, so hollah… especially for stressed out math teachers losing their shit under pressure. As soon as the competition ends, Victor tells Paulie right away that he won, thus outing himself to the entire house and ensuring his exit even more. Vic thinks it”s going to earn their trust, not realizing they don’t care if they can trust him. He’s not in their alliance – end of story. So, then he tells Frank too. Unfortunately, Victor tells these guys before Paul can advise him (rightly) not to do so. It’s too late when he finally talks to Paul, Victor already blew his wad. Then he tells Paul he wants to put James up as the Roadkill nominee and Paul says this too is a horrendous idea. Afterward, with Paul’s words ringing in his ears, Victor asks Frank and Paulie if they’re playing him. He says he’s thinking of putting up Tiffany rather than James to them. Next we see the Roadkill nomination reveal and, as we already know, it’s Tiffany, just as Victor hinted to them.

Favorite feeds talk for July 3rd:

Nicole: I don’t think I like you guys calling me a troll.
Corey: A cute troll… though.

Later Corey and Nicole strategize in the backyard, in other words, Corey talks about getting Tiff out and Nicole just says he’s gotta stop playing emotionally. Then only a bit later (around 9:30PM Big Brother time) Da’vonne talks about how she thinks Tiffany has a solid primary alliance with Paulie and they should think about getting her out… So, Tiff’s on a lot of tongues lately. Big surprise. But a critical point also comes out in this convo between Mama Day, Michelle, and Nicole. Tiffany would be great to keep around mainly because she’ll be happy to nominate Frank and take care of that dirty work for them. This is reinforced soon after when Tiff joins them and Da’vonne talks to her about how “we need to get rid of Frank” just to see the light go on in Tiff’s otherwise empty eyes. It’s fun to wtach Da’vonne conspiring and inquiring. We love that Mama Day action. Either way, the BB house plan for now is to take somebody (likely Tiff or Paul) off the block and put Victor up in the Veto ceremony tomorrow – July 4th. We’ll be posting about it pronto to keep you informed up-to-the-moment.

Happy Independence Day! Check out our Ruining BB18 tweets @RuiningBB18.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paulie
HOH Nominated – Paul, Bronte
Roadkill Comp Winner – Victor
RK Nominated – Tiffany
Veto Winner – Paulie
Evicted – #1 Jozea
Battle Back challenge – Glenn vs. Jozea

July 22nd will be a special Battle Back episode of Big Brother

Have-Nots – Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

As July 2nd starts we find out right away that Paulie, Bronte, Paul, Tiffany plus Da’Vonne, Zakiyah are playing in the Veto competition. It turns out to be a team challenge involving spelling. The biggest word wins and apparently players got blasted with water while spelling. After the challenge ends it’s revealed through cage-matcher convos that even though Paulie ended up winning Veto, really Frank didn’t want to take heat for using the Veto and basically gave it to Paulie. He’s already takin heat as HOH anyway, right? Now that HOH has the Veto power, his wish to backdoor nominate Victor is totes in the works. Paulie plans to take Paul off the block and put up Vic in his place. Although it’s unclear what Paulie will say exactly, one valid point he could make in the Veto ceremony is that Paul remained kind to Paulie when he was on the block whereas Victor and Bronte were pretty darn nasty. This type of “reasoning” is classic Big Brother and would count as a valid strategic decision in their world.

Even though it was kinda busy with the POV competition on July 2nd, the cage match wasn’t really ON tonight and thus the cage-matchers stayed pretty chill. Bridgette continued to run the kitchen as Bridgette’s Bakery whipping up treats for everyone on a constant cycle of yum. Once stuffed with tasty goodness, the houseguests sat around telling stories and playing riddle games. First Tiff started a game where people had to guess what she was thinking and then after about twenty minutes of questions, Tiff finally just flat-out told them what she was thinking. It was words that have more than one meaning. Scintillating stuff. After Tiffany’s “game” Paul proposed his own version of a riddle which was later mocked and derided at length in his absence, although we at Fetchland happily admit we kinda enjoyed it. Paul presented a mysterious scenario and then the others could ask him yes or no questions to figure out the story behind the scenario. Although it was a fun challenge in many ways, the cage-matchers found it frustrating rather than funtacular.

But we at Fetchland are starting to grow fond of Paul in general. He’s playing the game without rockin it hardcore and balls out, like Frank. Playing this way can have advantages, especially for a character like Frank who jokes and mocks and says-it-to-your-face but it’s not for everyone and, seemingly, not Paul’s way. He’s more subtle and friendly even if he doesn’t appear that way. Looks can be deceiving, after all. Another thing we like about Paul is that he’s teaching many of the houseguests chess one-at-a-time with buttloads of patience and solid advice. We love that! Paul’s a gamer and gets away with revealing that he’s a strategic thinker but still makes social connections and keeps people close while competing with them in a strategy game. It’s not as easy as Paul’s making it look.

The Big Sister team were the sad and sorry unfortunates this week, getting Have-Not status because of their last place “berry position” in the HOH berry-themed competition. Thus, the “special extra” for the Have-Nots this week is berries. Right on theme as always, baby. This is a tastytacular one compared to many of the “specials” in the past including pickles, liver, and sardines. Who doesn’t love berries? And they can have as many as they want! Hooray! Zakiyah, the queen of practical facts, points out that blueberries are a “feel good fruit” because they actually release positive rain chemicals for you when you eat them. She also thoroughly cleans the kitchen and looks like a supermodel the whole time. Later on in the HOH room Frank made a joke about Zak’s “big ass hands” as large as Frank’s, saying, “That’s the next twist, Zakiyah used to be a man!” and Zak stayed her cool and unimpressed self. She may not SEEM like she’s playing the Big Brother game but cleaning, staying positive, and not-reacting are all crucial ways of playing the game of Big Brother… and nobody looks better doing it.

Check out our up-to-the-millisecond tweets @RuiningBB18.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paulie
HOH Nominated – Paul, Bronte
Roadkill Comp Winner – Victor
RK Nominated – Tiffany
Veto Winner – TBD
Evicted – #1 Jozea
Battle Back challenge – Glenn vs. Jozea

July 22nd will be a special Battle Back episode of Big Brother

Have-Nots – currently none

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

Paulie nominates Bronte and Paul with a plan to backdoor Victor. Soon after this Victor wins the Roadkill competition, a math challenge that (from cage-matcher recounts) sounds similar to the card game Uno. He doesn’t keep it particularly quiet and the whole house knows pronto. Victor’s smarter than he seems, though. He doesn’t put up his nemesis, James and instead nominates Tiffany, the black cloud of emotions that both sides would be happy to evict at this stage. She spends loads of time “nervousing” and projecting her behavior onto others. Tiff says stuff like, “Michelle’s such an emotional player. She should just trust in the numbers,” while Tiffany’s actually the paranoid one – to the max and every minute, actually. Even when she’s smiling and “chill”, it’s tangibly awkward in the room.

Paulie tries to talk her out of her nerves but it’s obvious, even with all her OKs and nodding, that Tiff’s still out on the ledge of her own discontent. Meanwhile other cage-matchers are asking the smart questions. Paul asks Paulie who he’ll nominate if Victor wins the POV and takes Paul or Bronte off the block. It’s a good inquiry because everyone knows if Victor doesn’t win POV, Paulie wants to put him on the block next to Paul and Bronte. If Victor wins Veto, Paulie answers, Natalie’s next in line to go up. So, now Victor and Paul strategize next steps with that info in hand.

As soon as Victor puts Tiffany up on the block he tells Paul and Frank right away, saying it’s good for Paul… and even Frank. Victor points out that Tiffany makes everybody uncomfortable, pretty much an undeniable fact these days, given her black cloud and sunglasses-at-night.

The 8Pack are already talking about how expendable Tiffany is, saying they’ll just put Paulie up in her place. This not only keeps their alliance numbers but also shifts the 8Pack to an even-gendered balance. They’re currently five ladies and three gents and would be four and four afterward. Of course, this annihilates the dominance of the Fatal Five alliance and thus, the vote might not fall exactly how the 8Pack predict. There may be fracturing of the 8Pack already in the forecast if they don’t stick to the original plan. Truth is, the Fatal Five Females would be smart to keep their five intact as long as possible. F*** that phallic trio, we always say.

Meanwhile Paulie and Zakiyah play footsie, talk game, and look beautiful whispering together. On their topic list, Bridgette’s playin’ both sides, Natalie can’t stop cryin’ (because she was 1st out in the HOH comp), Bronte thinks she’s some kinda ringleader know-it-all, while Paul and Victor are bro desperados. They’re right on track with their shared observations. Zak and Paulie are both happy now too because Victor’s comfy with his Roadkill win and thinks he’s safe “bein with bros” in his illusory alliance with Paul, Paulie, Frank, and Corey. Paulie tells Zak how Paul and Victor were lightening fast in their willingness to betray Natalie and Bronte. Tsk fricking tsk. Sure the guys are playing Bros Before Hos. But what they don’t know is that the ladies are playin’ Ovaries Before Brovaries. In the meantime, we find it impressive how tight-lipped Zak remains with Paulie. She’s not telling him anything about the 8Pack alliance even as Paulie keeps referring to the “nine” alliance they both trust the most. We feel for you, Paulie! But we’re also proud of Zakiyah for keeping secrets close to the vest. She’s playin’ the game for herself and we love that.

Fav quote of the night: Paul – I have a headache… hopefully I won’t die.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paulie
HOH Nominated – TBD
Roadkill Comp Winner – TBD
RK Nominated – TBD
Veto Winner – TBD
Evicted – #1 Jozea
Battle Back challenge – Glenn vs. Jozea

July 22nd will be a special Battle Back episode of Big Brother

Have-Nots – currently none

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

The TV show was full of tension as the much-anticipated first live eviction resulted with the loss of BB’s beloved messiah. Jozea seemed a bit stunned and accessed old familiar recordings like a robot sitting beside Julie for questions right after his exit. All Jozea really said was, “I’m bold,” and “I’m honest,” before sinking into the numb reality of his actual situation and role in BB18. In a way, Jozea actually could be a messiah of sorts this season because there’s a chance for revival now that Big Brother introduced a new challenge behind the scenes. It’s called the Battle Back challenge. Much like with Survivor’s Redemption Island concept, the last houseguest voted out each week will battle against the next in pairs to fight for a chance to get back in the game. These pairings will continue until at the end the final winner of the Battle Back competitions has a chance to re-enter the game of Big Brother.

After Jozea’s sad and shocking (to some) exit, Julie sent them in the backyard for a new HOH competition. Although they usually put feeds back up right away when the live show ends, June 30th was an exception. So, we missed seeing the results play out. Instead, we heard about them from the houseguests long afterward. In the end, Paulie won HOH, so the power remains on the veterans’ side, at least as long as he remains unaware of the 8Pack alliance. Paul and Victor, still stunned from Jozea’s departure, pitched an alliance to Paulie. In the process they slammed “lying and shifty James” as well as arguing that the three of them could go far because beefcakes be bold with bravado, bro. They talked about their loyalty and strength, etc. and it’s not really clear how Paulie will respond but either way, he’s in a strong position.

The after game faces were priceless, from cheerful flirting between Nicole and Corey – to Bronte and Victor mumbling about “shitting their pants right now” into the bathroom mirror side-by-side. Lots of convos continued but it wasn’t the fireworks fiesta many feedsters anticipated. Thing is, these newbie cage-matchers may not have been masters of the game coming in but they’re not dummies either. It’s a magical moment to see hipsters wake up and realize what they don’t know in a situation might actually outweigh what they do know. Grasshoppers be learnin’ big time, bro. Frank and Tiffany had a post-feud pow wow and they too experienced some deep learning on June 30th. Tiff says she realizes that maybe her tone when talking to others can be a bit aggressive and Frank tells her he has the same challenge. Perhaps it’s because they’re so alike in this way that they locked horns? They bond. So, a slice of personal insight pie was enjoyed by all on this last evening of June.

Even we at Fetchland were reminded of an important life lesson on June 30th Big Brother 18. We noticed a retweet from former BB15 cage-matcher, Amanda Zuckerman, a beautiful and ferocious competitor in her own right. She tweets a perfectly timed and helpful message about humanity; that team we’re all on together.

Jozea couldn’t possibly process everything that just happened when he’s sitting there next to Julie only minutes after leaving the BB house and he probably feels like a fool. Big Brother has taught us over the years that being in your early twenties on a national TV show doesn’t always bring out the best in a human. But one thing it does for certain is hold up a mirror for us to see this humanity in ourselves and often flinch in recognition. We’re just lucky that when we acted an ass (in our 20s especially – right guys?) there weren’t six million people watching and eager to cheer our demise from their respective couches. But, yes, Jozea did sign up for this and we’re not saying it’s a crime being entertained by a fun show. Let’s just also remember he’s a human too. And how much fun would it be to see him re-enter the game? Anyone who remembers Rachel’s, “I’m BACK, bitches!” knows this resurrection would be a certifiable blast.

It’s going to be a busy holiday weekend ahead in the Big Brother house with the Roadkill competition, nominations, Veto competition and subsequent Veto ceremony all before those of us outside the BB house are even back at work next week. Stay tuned to Fetchland for all the dirty deets on the feeds daily and you can check out our tweets at @RuiningBB18.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

Yes, there was a TV show June 29th, but it mostly covered old ground with a few exceptions. The REAL story for this day circled back to Bronte’s lie about James. Basically saying he told Natalie that Victor asked Nicole out. There was also a tiny Tiffany drama later on (technically on the 30th because after midnight – but why quibble?). We know James never told Natalie anything of the kind but the crazy thing we found out June 29th is that indeed, Victor did ask Nicole out. That part, the hardest part to believe, WASN’T a lie. It’s just like the telenovela Natalie joked about the house becoming and it features the two houseguests who actually look like they could star in a telenovela – Natalie and Victor. Game on, bros! Turns out James didn’t tell Natalie but he DID tell Bronte and Bridgette about Victor asking out Nicole. When Nicole confronts him about his big mouth, James says he was simply driving a wedge between the newbies. Nicole doesn’t like this strategy, though because now she might be a target for Victor if it comes out that she told someone about his proposition.

So, about tonight’s episode, we’re pretty much only going to cover subjects Fetchland didn’t already cover. The TV episode shows a lot of funny stuff on June 29th. In the doggie-themed veto competition houseguests need to circle on sit n’spin type twisters fifteen times then stack treats in a precarious balanced formation while still in their dizzy state. Nicole is hilarious in her seemingly drunken attempts. Jozea handles the spinning OK and Da’vonne is also playing quite well until her stack of treats falls while Jozea’s teeters. Meanwhile Paul and Paulie are neck and neck until Paul quickly wins it all. This, of course gives Jozea even more confidence. Then we see Jozea telling Frank how he’s the glue holding the house together and the messiah. Although we already knew these things, it’s good to note that the TV viewing audience now also knows about Jozea’s grand delusions. Later in the diary room Jozea starts his next sentence with, “As leader of this house…” before leading the “secret” meeting everyone knows about.

Meanwhile James ends up crashing the secret meeting by just sitting there in the open and it’s freaking hilarious to watch how oblivious Jozea is to the significance of this. Mama Day bites the inside of her cheeks so as not to laugh at Jozea in his dog costume being so serious while preaching at the meeting. She says, “You’re making dogs look bad,” about it in the diary room later. Jozea asks where Bridgette is during his sacred secret meeting and Bronte tells the group she’s spying on the HOH room to see what happens in their absence. Later in the kitchen when Paulie flat out asks Jozea to his face why he wasn’t invited to the house meeting, Jozea responds that “We run this house, we run this house and that’s it,” and he should be able to hold any meetings he wants anytime he wants. Period. It’s impressive that Paulie keeps his cool through Jozea’s eerie self-aggrandizing non-answer, we imagine it could be a challenge to keep one’s head from exploding.

But let’s get back to the real stuff; the June 29th feeds. At the end of the evening the 8Pack sit around HOH chatting happily when Paula and Natalie come up to show them the funky fun makeup they did on each other. Afterwards it occurs to Paul that Zak and Day are up there with those six guys “on the other side” an awful lot. He mentions it to Jozea, concerned and, of course, Jozea remains confident still. He says they can trust Day and Zak 100% because they “don’t want caucasians to win this game”.

A bit later Frank tells Natalie (still in the funky make up Paul put on her) in the kitchen that “Whether it’s game or not, the story you were told was a lie is NOT a lie”. Then Natalie says it’s the lie that bothers her, not if Victor asked Nicole out or not. Frank tells her it’s been said by that team many times that “girls are expendable in this game,” and asks her if she thinks James is that malicious a guy to lie like that. Does he seem like it? Natalie says he really doesn’t. Then she promises not to tell anyone Frank told her.

Right on cue Nicole comes in the kitchen where they’re sitting at the counter and munches on a bowl of dry Apple Jacks. Franks says to Natalie, “Ask her,” and Nicole does, telling the entire scenario to Natalie in a kind/gentle way, of course. So, the whole story’s now out. Frank is positively gleeful. Just then Victor comes into the kitchen and sticks his hand right into Nicole’s Apple Jacks to help himself to a few crunches. It’s comedy gold. When Victor walks out of the kitchen we can see his back as he departs and Nicole’s squirming and giggling caps the scene off perfectly.

In other night-time news, Tiffany lost her cool with Frank and cried then got upset with herself because she got emotional and “everybody will see it on the feeds”. Yawn. Slutever, Tiffany. It was funny though, when she kept insisting how rational she is and that this is what drives Frank “crazy” – her being so rational. She said it all looking like this:

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

Frank was very funny on the 28th, with laugh out loud one liners many many times. For instance, during an afternoon “Thursday vote” chat someone mentions how they’re worried about __ throwing a crazy vote in the mix on eviction night. Frank slipped in, “I know if there’s some crazy vote you know it was either her or me.” After that he’s the one who figures out why Team Unicorn got the anti-slip shoes while the other teams didn’t. In fact, Frank doesn’t even have to think about it for a second. Meanwhile everyone else was composing wild conspiracy theories about the why behind BB house shoe distribution. When Joz complains about Tif wearing sunglasses indoors. Frank says, “Yeah, what are you, a poker player?” which is funny because her sister, Vanessa from Season 17, actually is a poker player Later he accidentally calls Bridgette “Britney” and when she calls him on it, he denies the foible, “You heard me wrong,” then a second later Frank goes right ahead and calls her Britney again only to follow up with a Bridgette in the next sentence just to keep her guessing. He’s hilarious in a truly quirky and fun way.

Tiff remains anti-social, skulking through rooms all slouchy and glum in all black with a cursed expression. Her black cloud of emotion hangs over the whole house so that Frank and Da’vonne talk about “doing damage control” and “babysitting” her. Poor James even talks it out with Tiff a bit, helping ease her paranoia. All we can think is Damn Girl! You’re not even on the block right now. After Tiff tells Mama Day about her conversation w/James. Tiff wants to know specifically what James said. So, Day replies, “Just that he doesn’t trust you,” then Tiff jokes about how the “game is starting” but she’s a big part of this whole “game playing scene” although she doesn’t seem aware of her effect on others.

The Spy girls discuss how “comfortable” Paulie seems and how unnerving it is, after all he should be worried. He should be trying to stay but he’s not even asking them to help him stay, etc. They talk abut how fishy Corey is, counting his money and mocking that his clothing company saves a puppy for every $100 a customer spends. It seems that they can’t help but start stirring pots and right on schedule there’s drama in the forecast for BB house June 28th evening. James is the first main target tonight for some reason and it’s coming at him from both sides.

Nicole asks glumtacular Tiffany what’s wrong and she replies that it’s nothing to do with Nicole or any of the girls. Then James joins her on the hammock and all the feelings comes flooding out. It’s JAMES that’s bugging her. Tiffany says she feels like he’s giving her the hairy eyeball on the regular and it’s upsetting because he’s the one in the house she most came into it feeling like she could trust and work with. He says she acts just like her sister with her mannerisms and it’s weird for him. But that’s not a big deal at all and there’s really nothing weird between them. Honestly, she’s imaging the “looks” she thinks he’s giving her. Tiffany decompresses a bit and even smiles a few time after this. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned from 17 previous years of Big Brother, it’s that this isn’t likely over yet. She’s got a seed planted in her about James now and it’s likely to take root, burst out of the ground, and grow leaves rather than die just because he says, “It’s cool”.

Then Nicole and Zak do an adorable dance together in the backyard with lots of choreography and stay in perfect sync while Tiff pounds out the beat in the background for them. It’s a crowd-pleaser as Da’vonne shouts, “That’s my baby!” from the sidelines and everyone enjoys it. Everyone but for Nicole who has hilarious complaints like, “I thought we were gonna get cute first,” and when she explains that she didn’t like doing it because, “I don’t like pubic speaking”.

But that’s enough fun and hijinx for one day. Fired-up late night sparks are ready to fly on the feeds for our first evening of high drama. Below you’ll find a breakdown of what was said and when:

1:45 AM – Jozea dramatically asks that Victor apologize to Natalie about a comment he made on her pants. Jozea says it’s going to snowball against them if Victor doesn’t fix this now. Victor isn’t happy about it but apologizes anyway.
1:55 AM – Paul drags Bronte outside in a fury saying that if he gets hushed again he’s going to scream. Jozea is also infuriated about the girls’ “feminist power thing.” Paul says if he gets told it’s “girl talk” again he’s going to “punch her in the face.”
2:10 AM – Paul rants on and on about the women and James. He calls James the “Little Korean Man.”
2:20 AM – Says Paul “I can’t deal with women. I’m over it. I’m done,” then he gives an ironic speech about how “people in this house can’t see the bigger picture” when he has no concept of what’s going on in the bigger picture himself. We’re not sure what Paul thinks he’s accomplishing with all of his woman-bashing.
2:35 AM BBT – Jozea and Natalie discuss a rumor that James said Victor asked out Nicole, but Natalie has no recollection of James saying that to her. (He didn’t say it at all – Bronte made it up.) Bronte says James is trying to pull us apart and then prevents Jozea, Paul and Victor from saying that she was the one to tell them.
2:40 AM – Paul declares he’ll be punching people if Jozea gets evicted (he will) and no prob if he has to leave the BB house in handcuffs as a result.
2:46 AM – Bronte says she wants to choke James and will “send (James) back to Hong Kong”. After that when Natalie says she can’t wait to cook tomorrow, Paul suggests they poison the other side’s food.
3:10 AM – Jozea says Da’Vonne will definitely vote with them against Paul because, “Day doesn’t want to go to the end with Caucasian people,” though where he got this idea is anybody’s guess. Maybe it came from Delusions Unlimited, a store where Jozea seems to shop so much he must have a rewards card full of hole punches by now.

Speaking of which, Jozea gives Bronte and Natalie a lecture series on “being a woman” and claims to know exactly how they feel, “because of emotions,” and instructs them on the proper way to behave and respond to men. He comes off as an ass but thinks he’s made headway in connecting with them. Jozea even brings up the “time of the month” to them, which REALLY gets their support, as you can imagine and then winds down the whole lecture with. “Just like you can’t understand how I have a beard,” ummmm. OK, Jozea. His talking-to-girls game is lamer than lame. Bronte ends up walking away while he’s still talking on and on to Natalie, sitting there with a smile frozen on her face.

So, it was a drama-filled night with more than its share of racist comments and pot-stirring, Bronte most of all. Not only did Bronte say she’d like to send James “back to Hong Kong,” though James, being from the deep American South, wouldn’t exactly fit in there with his drawl; she also told that whopper lie about him. We’re not sure where that doozy came from but it puts a deadly target right on James. Nobody seems to question its validity even though Natalie has no recollection of James saying it to her and they all agree that it makes no sense. Victor clearly has no interest in Nicole. Why would he ask to take her out after the summer is over? He wouldn’t. And even if he would, why would James tell Natalie this? But still, Jozea and Paul believe Bronte about this. So, if Bronte’s goal was to put James in the crosshairs, she seems to be the clear winner of the feeds for June 28th.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

It was a real slow night in the BB house with a tiny “talk show” from Paul and Jozea around two am that still counts as a refreshing break from a long day of vitriolic rants. The duo did this just for the feedsters and in the funniest part Jozea spells out his Instagram handle for us nice-and-slow only to have the camera man switch abruptly off him before he finishes. It flips to Paulie and Bridgette chatting about nothing before it a return to Jozea. Now Jozea gives makeup advice about how to remove lipstick stains and put on foundation, etc. …until Paul joins him and with a topic shift to beard advice. But the real talk starts after. They ask each other hypotheticals about situations like cheating, saving lives, and what would you do with a million bucks? That part’s fun getting to know Paul because he’s pretty likable and cool. Then the pair get confused because it seems like the camera on them stops filming. Paul responds to Jozea’s reprimands about swearing too much by saying, “I thought it was anything goes on the feeds, like you can show your dong and shit”. Bet that would turn the camera back on you, Paul!

There’s a strict BB House rule No Sleeping Outside The Bedrooms! Which is why cage-matchers who know the system (like Tiff) pull off the sunglass trick, pictured here. You can get away with a serious nap behind the facade of a semi-slouch and a big enough pair of shades. Why does this matter? FOMO, baby. Fear-of-missing-out is never been more significant than in the Big Brother house. Countless houseguests in the days of yore have missed out on their own imminent demise simply by napping out of earshot while the diabolical machinations rolled on in their absence. You gotta stay present, even if you’re secretly asleep the whole time. Nobody’s gonna plan your eviction while sitting right next to you.

Awkwardness ensued time after time on June 27th. Zakiyah worked as a gorgeous and unassuming secret double agent/messenger between teams. None are the wiser among the newbies. She’d sit with them and pick up tons of toys and soil in their newbie brand sandbox of gossip then slip inside to the HOH room and spill all the dirt she’d collected to the 8Pack. One such time Zak made this trip she was unaware that Jozea traipsed along right behind her in his doggie suit to then create a massive abyss of silence upon entering HOH. As you can see in the picture, Mama Day, on the bed, is the closest person to him with everyone else as far away on the other side of the room as possible. Body language speaks volumes, Jozea and all you have to do is look around a bit to see how these people feel about you. But, sadly it seems Jozea is illiterate when it comes to body language. He still believes he’s the most beloved cage-matcher ever. After all, Jozea IS the future Mario Lopez… yes, he’s said that too. Right after Jozea hosts the next Grammys he’ll be forced to endure the trials and tribulations of his future fame-soaked life as the next Mario Lopez. We wish you well whatever happens, Jozea because you entertain us and that’s the greatest gift of all.

Meanwhile Paul can’t keep his hands off Bronte. Whenever he’s near Bronte he’s got a hand on her. Bronte insists that she’s not interested in Paul but never says anything about his roaming hands. In our book, that’s called encouragement. There are lots of other pseudo-showmances in the house so this is kinda nothing on its face but we just wish Bronte would get real with Paul about it. Corey and Nicole have a certain attraction (maybe one-sided) as do Paulie and Zakiyah (NOT one-sided), along with the uber-obvious Natalie and Victor pairing. But these duos are more honest about this stuff than Bronte. One thing Wifey Spy needs to know, the longer you lead someone on, the fiercer the fire of their wrath when you finally get honest about it. Or maybe it’s the other cage-matchers or herself she’s not being honest with. Either way, the truth is likely to come out soon because these houseguests have NOTHING but time and each other. In other words, there’s a lot of leg-fondling in Wifey Spy’s future.

Favorite Fetchland quote of the day – Nicole to Michelle: Do they literally think Jozea’s sane?

BB Postcript – Another thing we learned today was that there’s a phone in HOH that you can use to call the London phone booth in the British-theme bedroom. Have some fun with phone calls cage-matchers!

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

On the BB TV Show Ep 3 we find out that Jozea’s delusions of grandeur continue even when he’s in the diary room because he says he “rules this house” and thinks targeting Nicole is meaningful even while on the block. So, Jozea’s unduly focused on offense even when defense is all anyone can really do when nominated for eviction. Meanwhile Da’vonne plays a solid fake friend with Jozea while slamming him in her DR sessions because our girl knows how to play the game. In fact, she builds up a bigger alliance to protect the veterans and picks allies well, narrowing her sites on the cage-matchers who actually KNOW Big Brother. Da’vonne/Day starts with Zakiyah and then Michelle soon follows suit. Next Da’vonne pulls in Corey and Tiff to round it out perfectly and they become the 8Pack Alliance – inspired by Corey’s toned tummy.

The show then highlights the crucial element of this season feedsters have been discussing non-stop; many newbies really don’t know the game of BB at all. Specifically the ones not in the 8Pack alliance, other than Paulie who knows the game from his bro. Jozea knows Big Brother least of all the newbies. He walks around declaring that he’s coming after Nicole all day so it’s surprising he’s so stunned to be put up for eviction by her. Jozea also says about being on the block, “I’m not worried one bit because I know everybody in the house loves me,” snort. It’s as if he’s never seen even one episode of the show.

Then the Roadkill competition we heard so much about on the feeds is finally revealed with the BB RV pulling into the backyard. Houseguests in track suits need to strip down to swimsuits while “driving” the RV. If they take a hand off the driving instruments while changing it speeds up their timer a ton and will make their total time used much greater. The winner of the challenge gets down to their swimsuits in the least amount of time. So, they try their damnedest to keep the buttons all pushed while stripping. It’s exciting to watch our cage-matchers get uber creative using body parts to push buttons. We already knew that Frank won and then put Paul up on the block with this new RK power. But it’s still fun to see when and how he finds out he won the challenge and then hides it, containing his excitement to share the news with only his 8Pack alliance.

As we already know from the feeds, the newbies all think they know who won and they’re all wrong. It’s funny when Jozea says it was Paulie. He knows it … and he’s always right. Nobody else among the newbies is quite so certain or quite so completely wrong. Their guesses are at least in the correct alliance. Meanwhile in other alliance news, Natalie makes a new, petite one with Bridgette and Bronte to make their shared all-girl team dreams from pre-show interview days come true. They call their alliance Spy Girls, Natalie = Flirty Spy, Bronte = Wifey Spy, and Bridgette = Spunky Spy. It doesn’t really make sense to us what makes Bronte a “Wifey” but we’ll go along with that part at least for now purely on faith that it means something. The Spy part, though… That’s all wrong. The whole time they’re “plotting their alliance” Tiffany is merely a few feet away and can totally hear them from the hammock. Meanwhile these “spies” don’t even notice her. So far the whole spying thing doesn’t fly.

Next we see Category4 receive their Mystery punishment. It’s the pixel nudie costumes they’ve gotta wear for a week. A mucho amusing collage of nudie pixel living, loving, and dancing makes us laugh before the show settles into a more serious mode to reveal Frank’s secretly selected third nominee – Paul. Jozea has the most upset reaction of everyone while Paul declares himself Bearded Rambo and pumps his arm in victory. It’s all in good show and this guy knows how to put one on, it seems.

The feeds were pretty uneventful yet again on Sunday, June 26th, with a brief bit of fun dramatics after an hour and a half of the POV meeting where Paul took himself off the block and then Bridgette was put up in his place. Some of the funny parts included Jozea calling himself the “glue that holds everybody together,” and “a motivational speaker,” arousing dead-eyed non-reactions from his cage-match peers. They then go off to whisper about it later with others, of course. The house division feels like a line drawn in the sand with each side slamming the other at every secret convo opportunity. Tiff, Vic, and Jozea get the most beatdowns of all, which is surprising considering that Paul and Bronte seem to be the most polarizing on the surface. But that’s the thing about the feeds… you really get to see below the surface. In the Big Brother cage match it’s about trusting your gut and the visceral reactions people get from living together are a powerful force. Instincts matter much more than tattoos or a piercing baby voice when assessing people. On a side note, Paul has the major hots for Bronte and even though she says she’s not into it, she’s not pushing his roaming hands away either.

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Paul
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’Vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

The day begins around noon eastern time, nine AM cage-matcher time as Frank talks to himself (us) in the beautiful backyard. He verifies facts for us about the Roadkill challenge and his role in nominating Paul then makes us laugh with a tirade of self-deprecation.

Over coffee Paul gives Nicole a lecture series on traveling the world and society’s over-reliance on money for happiness. He goes on and on and she’s never been better at the head nod and smile routine. It soon becomes clear that Paul’s conference-on-Paul shall continue all day and into the wee hours as Jozea gives a parallel lecture-series-on-Jozea from his bed/throne on the other funtacular feeds. James, hearby declared “best-smelling Houseguest” by the ladies, and all the smelly guys too find themselves listening and head nodding all day long. Soon we feedsters realize this is classic early days and that means a lot of cage-match convos that come to nothing. An awkward political discussion in the fake grass sends several conflict-avoidant houseguests fleeing across the coolest BB backyard yet. That was the most exciting event of the day – election talk. Yawn.

So, there’s lots of napping and bitching to spare on Feeds – June 24th. We notice many cage-matchers complain that Victor is “selfish” and “greedy” because he eats a lot and does things like use the (rare in the BB house) avocados to make a face mask for himself. The ladies find him annoying in general, except Natalie, who can’t help but occasionally cuddle him. Most of the cage-matcher conversations, though, were about absolutely nada today, with many of them even explicitly saying they don’t want to talk game. Speaking of talking in circles, Natalie and Victor discuss the “relationship” they never really had or wanted while cuddling in bed together, the Platonic ideal of saying one thing while actively doing the opposite.

The afternoon brought a spunky puppet show in the kitchen with Da’vonne and Victor holding colorful stuffed animals up to the counter. Jozea, the king of late night promises, declares there will be another puppet show at night. He’s notorious now after making a serious habit of promising crucial meetings and spectacular shows for “2AM” or “later tonight” that never come to light.

It’s interesting how much more attractive the houseguests are when they get all natural and normal after being in the house awhile. Their stiff, made-up, smiling facades from the pre show interviews fall away and we can see them simply as they are (on TV). Thus, whereas before they looked like TV characters, now they seem to simply be beautiful people. As always, we can’t help but start to see resemblances between houseguests and celebrities too. For instance, Bronte brings Tori Spelling to mind and Bridgette is the spitting image of the singer Bjork.

A funny moment happens on the hammock when Michelle says she wants to work out but can’t because her nudie pixel outfit prevents it and then the camera pans behind her where Paulie rides a stationary bike in his pixel suit with great ferocity and speed. Meanwhile Day (Da’vonne) makes a lovely dinner for everyone and they’re appropriately grateful. Tiff, though, was a sad bunny all night. If you wanted semi-fun, nominally entertaining feeds instead of sad bunnytime, you could swing over to watch drunk Paul on auto-repeat with the “I’m so drunk, guys”. We could’ve easily mistaken him for a college girl at a frat party. Truth is, Frank let out a fart that was more interesting than drunken Paul. Paulie even said, “That one makes my list of top five most well-timed farts ever,” like in the history of the world, dudes.

So, it wasn’t the most exciting day feed-wise, but strap yourselves in because Sunday night will be a spicy show with lots of thrills on the feeds right after. Sure, you’ll likely be watching the Game of Thrones finale at the time… We get it! That’s why we’re here – to share our delightful dish of ruination and recap with you the very next day. Fetchland lives to serve you, baby!

– Katherine Recap

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Paul
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’Vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

June 24th was a costume-filled extravaganza… OK, not really but there were a lot of costumes. Many in the house are currently gunning for Jozea to go home this week and thus are quick to point out his flaws as soon as he’s out of earshot. This is classic BB and, let’s just be really honest, humanity at large.

Michelle wore a fire hydrant costume to host the veto comp. Da’Vonne and Corey played along with Nicole, Jozea, Paulie, and Paul. Afterwards feedsters quickly found out Paul won the veto. We don’t know much about the Roadkill Competition yet (it’s a new one) but we do know it enabled the winner, Frank, to add Paul to the eviction block in a secret twist. Nobody else in the house is aware that it was Frank who won and many houseguests wrongly assume it was Nicole. So, now that Paul won veto and will take himself off the block, Frank will (secretly) name a replacement when the time comes. The veto challenge players wore doggie costumes to go along with Michelle’s hydrant, and the competition involved stacking, spinning and crawling through a tunnel. Afterward the players were nauseated and complainier than usual. Oh the spinning, oh the tunnel, of the indignity of it all… Veto players wore their dog suits for a long time, which made the serious discourse of the 2am “pre-meeting” funnier than it was intended. Paul also wore his veto around his neck much longer than anyone has in BB history.

The now notorious non-starter two am meetings are still getting called daily by Jozea and then not happening at all. This time, though he says the meeting is “crucial”, and everyone but Tiffany’s invited. The meeting never happens but they do hold a pre-meeting with Team Big Sister, Team Unicorn, and Paulie to discuss who they’d put up in place of Paul when he takes himself off the block with the veto. This shows how these newbies don’t really know how it works because the one with the power to nominate is always also the one who decides the re-nomination after a veto removal. Because the houseguests don’t know who nominated Paul, there’s really no way for them to influence the replacement. Jozea got the meeting pumpin’ to the jam with a pep talk saying they “own the house!!” although this couldn’t be farther from the current reality. In fact, right now it looks like Jozea will be the one going home – first evicted. His game strategy is to tell the HOH she’s the target and then walk around the house as if he owns the place… which seems more like a Joffrey Lannister impression than a Big Brother strategy.

Tiffany finally told Paulie she’s Vanessa’s sister and they bonded a little with how much they feel like they fit in better with the veterans than most of the newbie “crazy people”. Big Brother boozes them up a bit and several of them shotgun beers before a hasty round of Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare, with gross-out tasks. It all concluded with Victor doing a nudie pixel streak with a borrowed butt placard. He’s a handsome fella but nobody’s falling for his schtick thus far.